Train Rides
by kyou fangirl
Summary: Remus and Sirius... and trains : gonna be about 15 chapters long. yay! please read and review. xoxoxo
1. To first year

**A/N Idea's just come to me. Like when I cant sleep because of mosquito bites. I spent most of last night brainstorming this, and I somehow remembered most of the stuff today when I wrote it :) here it is! SirusxRemus love and awesomeness! Might get sad near the end, but I promise lots of happy times before that. Xoxo.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, why in god's name would Remus and tonks get married? WHY DID THEY EVEN WITH ME NOT OWNING THIS! Speaking of which, I **_**don't**_** own it… ya know… in case you had any doubts… and wanted to sue me or something mean like that.**

**Train rides**

It was the first of September. A young boy with shoulder-length, black hair stood outside a black car. The car had the appearance of being very expensive, and, had you been walking by at precisely the right time and place, you could have caught a glimpse of the disproportionally large interior before the boy slammed the door. A man stepped out of the drivers door and walked around to the trunk, only to find that the boy had retrieved his luggage on his own. Said boy was now walking away with a large trunk without so much as a backward glance.

Sirius O. Black. Number 12 Grimmauld Pl. That is what the tag tied carelessly to the trunk read.

Leaving his escort may not have been the brightest idea, but Sirius was a very spontaneous boy. He also tended to do the opposite of whatever his family would. His family had sent the car, along with a servant, to bring him to his train. Hence, he had made the decision to find the train on his own.

Ah. This looked promising.

A boy was walking along the platform, looking curiously at his surroundings. While the boy himself did not look particularly interesting- apart from his amusingly messy hair- he was accompanied by two adults, presumably his parents, and they were both wearing robes.

Hoping with all of his might that this wasn't some absurd, muggle fashion staement, he walked up to them.

"Excuse me," he said, his voice filled with confidence, not the usual shyness one heard from a child addressing an adult. "I was wondering if you were headed to 9 ¾?"

"Ah!" said the man, smiling good-naturedly with a twinkle in his dark eyes. "First year? It is for my Jamie as well." Sirius could only assume 'Jamie' was the lanky, messy-haired boy who had just fallen into step beside his parents.

"Dad," he said warningly, eyes flashing dangerously through his glasses. His face lightened as he turned to face Sirius. "Yeah. I'm _James_," he said, emphasizing his name so as to avoid any further nicknaming. "I'm so excited for school. Though I reckon the work'll be a right pain in the-" warning glance from his dark-haired mother "-neck…"

"Yeah…" said Sirius, torn between his egotistical self that was insulted at being interrupted before given the chance to introduce himself, or the nervous part of himself, who was glad to have put off being looked at funny and talked to like a villain… or worse… some kind of nobility. He just decided to cut into the rant and have some say in it himself.

"D'you reckon they'd let a first year on the team?" asked Sirius.

"What, quidditch?" Sirius looked at him like 'what else?' "Probably not. I've never been a huge fan. Mum won't let me try flying. I just never loved watching it."

"You never know. Maybe it'll grow on you."

"Yeah. I guess," replied James, shrugging. They talked for a few more minutes before James was distracted by something over Sirius' shoulder. Namely a short, roundish boy who had just crashed into a large, brick column. "Oh! Gotta go! I've just seen someone I know! See you at the feast!" He ran off, but reappeared an instant later. "Bye Mum. Bye Dad. Love you. I'll write. And I'll stay out of trouble." Sirius could've sworn he saw James' finger crossed as he gave his father a quick hug and his mother a kiss on the cheek, but wasn't sure because a moment later he had ran off again. Sirius laughed out loud as he continued on to where the Potters- that was their last name, you see. 'Potter.'- had pointed and heard James' voice audible above the crowd's murmur.

"It's platform nine and _three_ quarters you git!"

"I'm a bloody wizard! Not a mathmagician!"

"Shut the hell up you prat!" . . . "AND ITS MATHEMATITIAN! FOR GOD'S SAKE PETER!"

That was when Peter saw a boy, tall, round and very read-head, disappear into solid brick. He grinned. "Wicked," he muttered, ignoring the scared faces of other first years around him. He started power-walking at the wall, and without even a feeling of passing through anything, he was in a smoky train station, far cooler than the one he had just exited.

"Really, freakin' wicked…"

Full.

Full.

Full.

ALL BLOODY FUL- oh… or not.

Sirius gazed into the only open compartment he had come across so figured it was probably available because nobody wanted to disturb its sleeping occupant. . . or it could be the large scar across said occupant's face. He looked and it seemed that the scar wasn't as bad as it looked, it was just the way the light hit it. Poor bloke. Just got on the train and he's already the least popular kid at school just because he had decided to take a nap.

The train lurched, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts. He quickly stepped into the small room, sitting down as the train gained speed. The waving and crying parents on the platform slid by outside the window until they vanished, replaced by a view of the city, also sliding away in a blur.

Sirius looked around. He did so long enough to learn part of the other boys name: R J Lupin. It was written in big letters across his trunk. Then Sirius got bored, being alone apart from a sleeping stranger, and he too fell asleep.

When he awoke, it was to the sound of a loud rapping on the door. He saw "R J Lupin" waking up as well, and it was he who nodded at the disturbance to come in.

"Sorry to wake you, love, but I was just wondering if you'd be hungry? I let you sleep as long as I could, but I'm on my way back now, so there'll be no more food till dinner." The boys looked at the cart, laden with sweets of every sort.

"Nothing for me, thanks," said the boy. Sirius watched him for a moment, seeing him eye the chocolate frogs with an almost predatory hunger.

"I'll take… two berttie botts… and I'd say… 10 chocolate frogs." He smiled at the woman, all traces of sleepiness gone, and paid what he owed.

"You like chocolate?" asked Lupin.

"No, but you do." Said Sirius, placing five of the frogs and one of the boxes of beans beside the other boy.

"Oh… I-"

"Forgot your money? On a diet?"

"First one… I, um, spent all that I had on some extra books and didn't have time to get any out of Gringotts." He paused, blushing as if he expected some harsh comment about the stupidity of his actions.

"Bad luck, mate."

"… Thanks though. I can pay you back once Mom sends my money."

"No need. Its just some frogs," replied Sirius, shrugging. "I'm Sirius, by the way." This received an expectant look as though the other knew this introduction was incomplete. "Sirius Black," He finished, lamely. To his surprise, this did not receive any strange reaction. Instead, a hand was extended toward his own.

"Remus Lupin. Pleasure." Sirius took the hand, smiling.

Remus unwrapped a chocolate frog as soon as he had both his hands again. It sprung out toward the window and freedom, but before it once again made contact with a solid object, Remus had caught it with stunning reflexes. Sirius gaped as he saw that Remus had not, in fact, closed his fist, but had trapped the frog without squishing it.

"Nice! You trying out for seeker?"

Remus laughed a bit. "Not much of a quidditch player myself. I do like to watch. You?"

"Keeper. Play with Reg. He's absolute rubbish though. And a sore loser, so pretty much always in a bad mood because of it."

"Brother?" Sirius nodded. "Hah. Sibling rivalries. . ."

"Well kinda… only we actually hate each other." Remus stopped smiling. He seemed to think he hat intruded. "Mother bought us the brooms so we could fight without killing each other… though I suppose I could technically beat the crap out of him with my broom well he's asleep or something… I dunno." Sirius shrugged, chuckling to himself at the thought, and Remus relaxed, seeing that talking about it didn't bother Sirius. In a way, he envied him.

He looked out this window, his smile fading.

"What's up?" asked Sirius, serious now. He looked at Remus, the edge of his face and back of his head bathed in the warm light of the train while most of his face was pale, illuminated with the cold but beautiful light of an almost-full moon. He looked older for a moment, but when he turned back, blinking as though coming out of a daze, Sirius was sure it had been his imagination.

"Nothing. Just feeling a bit under the weather, I suppose." He shrugged and popped an ugly, green jelly bean into his mouth. "Mmm… Green tea." And Sirius knew the conversation was over.

The rest of the train ride was spent playing exploding snap, eventually joined by James, who brought along his clumsy friend, Peter. After their second game, they changed into their robes. Not long after, they watched as the looming silhouette of a giant castle came into view. It was the first time they had seen this sight, and everything about it seemed magical, be it the way the moon reflected twice as bright off the lake, or how the windows flickered against the dark, night sky. It was breathtaking.

**PLEASE REVIEW! THANKS! :D**


	2. back from first year

**A/N SECOND CHAPTER! :D Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I am to **_**Harry Potter**_** as Voldemort is to the Elder wand. If you don't get it, I suggest you stop reading my fanfic now.**

**Train Rides**

Remus John Lupin gazed out the window. It was unusually gray for June. He didn't mind, really, as long as it didn't rain.

Due to some… inconvenient circumstances, he would not be accompanying his three friends on the Hogwarts Express. Yet he was still here sitting on a carriage with said friends. A carriage pulled by very unsettling horses that no one else seemed to notice. Dumbledore had told him it was to avoid suspicion, but he still wondered weather Dumbledore had planned how he could escape without his friends noticing. Remus decided to let it go. Dumbledore always knew what he was doing.

"Damn," he said, his friends looking up from where they had been planning some trickery of some sort, probably to make sure people would still remember them next year.

"What's up, Rem?" asked Peter, holding some sort of list. When Remus subtly leant in to see, Peter looked uncomfortable, tilting the list so it was flat against his chest. Remus didn't push it, knowing he was probably better off left out of his friends' shenanigans, anyway.

"Nothing. Just started raining." He looked outside again, and his friends followed his gaze. Sure enough, a slight tapping was now heard from all sides of the carriage and the windows were blurred with small droplets of water.

Nobody really talked for the rest of the ride. About ten minutes later, they pulled up to the station.

"Ah, grand," said James, happily. "We've made it." They all stood up and grabbed their luggage, Remus doing the same, not wanting to look suspicious. If his friends found out that he… well, he didn't even really want to think about that. So he didn't. All thought's of it were pushed from his mind until about ten seconds later when he stepped out of the carriage only to be met by Madame Pomfrey.

Pomfrey was a nice lady, in her early forties, he supposed. She had nice, dark hair and a kind smile. It was reassuring for patients. It was her second year working at Hogwarts, and she had had her work cut out for her with Remus, poor woman.

"The headmaster sent me," she said, addressing Remus with a meaningful look. "He said to tell you that your parents have changed plans. They arranged to pick you up, and should be here soon."

Remus smiled. Dumbledore had let him ride the carriage to give him more time with his friends, something he would be grateful for later. These nights were always easier after being with friends. It soothed him, as well as the… monster within.

"Ok, I suppose I should just say my goodbyes now then?" She nodded.

"Aw, too bad, Mate. I was looking forward to some gobbstones on the train," said James, giving Remus a hug- a very manly hug of course.

"Write, yeah?" said Peter, also hugging him.

Then Sirius leaned in, and while hugging him said "Be safe, ok?" Remus looked startled. "Side along apparition isn't fun," replied Sirius, shrugging. He also blushed a bit, realizing that he had hugged Remus maybe a fraction of a second longer than the others. He pulled away. "Keep in touch. Write to me as soon as you get home." H gave a classic, Sirius smile, one that could make a person weak at the knees even though he was still just eleven, and ran to keep up with the others.

"Bye! Have a nice train ride…" Remus trailed off. His three friends vanished from sight. He turned to the doctor and she nodded at him, leading the way down the street towards that house. They stood outside the heavily barricaded house in front of them, and Remus grabbed hold of Madame Pomfrey's arm, and about one second of uncomfortable dizziness later, he was in the shrieking shack. Another moment later, he was alone. Dumbledore had lifted the anti-apparition charm for just that purpose, and he felt a weird tingle through his body as it was put up again. Now all that was left to do was watch the sun set through the cracks in the boarded windows.

"D'you reckon he's ok?" asked Peter, looking over the list in his hands once more.

"For the last bloody time, Peter: Of course he's ok. He's _always_ ok." Sirius sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Peter, but it was hard to hear over the sound of his obvious annoyance. He was staring out the window as he had been for the last hour. It was still early enough, but he knew the sun had to go down eventually, and when it did, a full moon would rise. It would hurt Remus.

"Do you think it… _hurts?"_

"Of course! It feels like you're being lit on fire! But not normal fire! Fiend fire! And you can feel your body changing and-"

"Oh shut up!" shouted Sirius, angrier than he had intended. "Look, Remus'll be fine. We don't know how long he's been going through this, but we know he hasn't died yet. He'll. Be. Fine." End of discussion. Not that it was the beginning of another discussion. While James and Peter played wizard's chess in unusual silence, Sirius continued to stare out the window. People underestimated how long he could brood, but had he been really uninterrupted, he could have stared at the sun, willing it not to go down, until he eventually lost. But, as it was, he was interrupted.

"I think we should look this over again," said Peter, pulling out the list again.

"We've seen it a hundred times!" James whined.

"Pete's right. Another time can't hurt." Sirius looked down.

Get gillyweed.

Buy "Transfiguration: A guide to NEWT level spells, and beyond."

Charm everything on the list to be normal or hidden from Remus.

Question McGonagall.

Perform spell

Figure out how the bloody tree works. (avoid injuries)

Blah blah blah

Blah

Blahblah

The list went on and on. It was everything they would need for the spell they were going to attempt, and, looking at it now, it seemed nearly impossible. All the more reason to do it!

"How long do you think this'll take?" asked Peter, looking unsure about their plan, as usual.

"As long as it needs," said Sirius, forcefully, cutting off whatever James had been about to say. James smiled knowingly. Sirius was a loyal friend and a hard worker. He really possessed a lot of the traits of a Hufflepuff, but all of the Gryfendore. Good thing, too. James wouldn't be caught dead with a _Hufflepuff_ as his partner in crime. But something was different about the way he was protective around Remus. This, in part, had to do with Remus' condition. But with Sirius, that wasn't all of it. In the past nine months, James had gotten to know Sirius better that he had known Peter in the three years since he moved down the block, and he knew that Sirius really cared for Remus, though non of them, not even Sirius, really understood how much, or why. Yet.

"D'you think we'll all be able to come over to my house this summer? Or Peter or Remus'? Not yours Sir, sorry. Just your mom's a total bitch. No offence!"

"Non taken," said Sirius, shrugging and smiling a bit.

"But Remus cant come over! He can't know about the spell!" Peter said frantically, as though James was suggesting the most preposterous thing in the world.

"Relax. Its always work work work. We will work on the spell, but I meant for fun. The Marauders can't very well be apart for three full months, can we now?"

"Maraudres?" asked the other two.

"It's the name me and Rem came up with. You like it?" he replied, grinning.

"Yeah!" said Sirius enthusiastically. James and Peter were happy that he had stopped brooding, and managed to fill the next few hours with chess, chocolate frogs, and discussing possible pranks for next year.

As the sun started to fade, however, Sirius grew quieter. When it was replaced by the moon, he remained silent for the remainder of the train ride. The other two watched as he nodded off, exhausted from watching the sky, and finally got some rest. Peter, sitting next to him, covered him with the cloak he had taken off and put on the seat.

Many miles away, Remus was howling, in pain from self-inflicted wounds cutting deep into his flesh. It was these images that haunted Sirius Orion Black as he tossed and turned in his seat. He awoke even more exhausted than when he had fallen asleep.

**A/N ok. There it is. More will be coming soon :D PLEASE REVIEW! THANK YOU! XOXO!**


	3. To second year

**A/N CHAPTER THREE! I have so many frees today! I am on a roll! So little homework! SO MUCH FANFIC! And now I'm early to class, so I'm just sitting here and writing while I wait for people :)**

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter no es mio. (Estoy en la clase de Espanol)**

**Train Rides**

As it turns out, Remus did not get the chance to visit anyone's house. He was admitted into St. Mungo's and was badly injured from the second full moon of the Summer. He had spent most of his time unconscious or eating. Sirius had visited while he was sleeping, having been told that he would not wake up. He told the nurses and doctors not to tell him that he had had a visitor, so when he left, it was as though it had never happened. No need for Remus to know he knew where he had been that summer. In the last few weeks of summer, he had gotten better just in time for another full moon. He had experienced one in the hospital, and found himself quarantined, strapped down, sedated and under close observation. Now, a week after the last moon of the summer, he was almost recovered, and on his way to King's Cross Station.

He arrived there early, like last time, but found that he was not alone. Not that he was the first time either. There were always early risers such as himself, but today he saw someone he _knew_.

"Sirius?" he asked, not hiding his surprise.

"Don't I get a hug?" asked Sirius, grinning and opening his arms. Wanting to hide his femininity, but being too excited to do so, he ran into Sirius' arms, buried his face in his shoulder and resisted the urge to a) cry or b) squeal. Those would have been overkill.

"I missed you this summer! I'm sorry. I didn't know I would be camping. My parents said it was a surprise and it was dangerous for our owls out there."

"It's ok. Have fun, though? Didn't get too beat up out there in the wilderness, I hope?" the last statement came out sounding more genuinely concerned than Sirius had intended, but he still wanted an answer.

"It was fun. And honestly, Sirius, I can take care of myself. I'm only a month and a half younger than you." Sirius rolled his eyes and spoke in a tone of a child talking back to a nagging parent.

"Good to hear."

"So how bout your summer?" Sirius shrugged at this question. "Family ok?" Remus wasn't inquiring to their well-being so much as their civility and lack of violence. Sirius' face darkened.

"I'm going to run away, some day." He was completely serious and Remus knew it. He nodded, as they walked toward the train, who's doors had just opened.

Sitting in silence could be awkward, and that's what this was. Neither of them wanted the other to know how bad their summers were.

Remus couldn't tell his best friend that he had been in the hospital all summer.

Sirius couldn't tell his best friend that he had been running away from home to be with him in the hospital, and being punished severely for it.

So they didn't tell each other these things. They just didn't talk.

"Well you two aren't boring at all," said a drawling, sarcastic voice from the door. It was James, leaning on the door frame, looking older than last they had seen him, and smirking at the two losers who could find nothing better to do with their time then to sit and do nothing.

"Jamie! Lovely to see you again!" shouted Sirius, jumping up enthusiastically, and kissing James twice on each cheek.

"BLEH! Great! Now look what you've done!" said James looking disgusted. He grabbed Sirius and forced him to look at his reflection in the window. "You've gon and infected my perfect self with cooties! EWW!" he said the last two words in the most annoying, girly voice he could muster, and Remus snorted, shaking his head at their foolish buffoonery.

"Honestly. You two are perfect for each other," said Remus, still chuckling.

"Yes! We are, aren't we!?" said Sirius, sweeping the skinnier boy into his arms and striking a dramatic pose. "It's like he is a beautiful damsel in distress, and I, the daring Prince Charming!"

"Finally come out, have you?" said Peter, appearing behind them and laughing. "I'm sure you'll be very happy together."

"If he doesn't cheat on me with his own reflection. Egotistical bastard," muttered James in mock-anger.

"Your words wound me deeply!" said Sirius, dropping James to the floor with a thud! "And if I were ever to cheat, rest assured it would be with Remusilda, the beautiful princess of Hogwarts. . . Sorry Pete."

"S'ok. You're not my type," Peter said, winking.

"Does anyone else notice that the one with long hair is also the self-proclaimed man of the group?" They all laughed, even Sirius, a bit.

"And the one who points this out has the girliest face of them all!" Remus blushed.

"Lies! All of it!"

The group laughed, and filled the next hour or so with complete and utter nonsense, including mischief Peter, Sirius and James had come up with in letters, on the train the Remus wasn't on, and, though Remus didn't know about it, the meeting they had had over the summer to begin the intense transfiguration.

After they had exhausted their supply of absurdity, or at least their will to keep on talking about it nonstop, they settled down into a game of Wizard's Chess, Remus vs. Peter. Remus was losing. It had always shocked them that Peter was good at chess, but, alas, that he was. Even better then the brilliant Remus John Lupin. Sirius was Remus' cheerleader while James was Peter's. James had tied his robes around his waist as a skirt while his shirt was rolled up to reveal his midriff. He was chanting nonsense. Sirius, on the other hand, had no "costume," but Remus insisted that his cheerleader, at the very least, pulled back his hair. He had high pigtails.

"P-E-T-E-R! He's the chessiest player of all!"

"'Chessiest?' that's not even remotely a word," said Sirius, chuckling.

"Whatever, pigtails."

Sirius grabbed his pigtails defensively, pouting. Remus stared. It was almost… _cute. _He shook his head as Sirius grinned again, his banter with James continuing. Sirius was anything but cute. "Handsome," "hot," and "gorgeous" had been thrown around, but Remus had never understood people calling him "cute." The only thing girly about him would be his long hair, and even that worked surprisingly well for him. And that's when Remus decided to force these unusual thoughts out of his mind.

The fact that his king was in check was a convenient distraction. He ordered it calmly to another square, but it didn't move. In fact, it shook his head at Remus insistently. He saw Peter's face.

"What?"

"That's illegal. It doesn't get you out of check."

"What? Where?" Peter's bishop hopped, answering the question. "Ah." Then Remus saw his Queen subtly gesturing at the square directly to the right of the king. Remus smirked, not seeing the king panic.

"King to E-5," he said, confidently.

"I'll decide to let that cheating go," said Peter, smirking.

"Why?" asked Remus.

Instead of answering, Peter moved. "Queen to E-2." The queen did so, slicing through the knight as she went, and it came to a halt. "Check mate." The king dramatically dropped his sword before being run through by the queen's. He shattered into a hundred pieces.

"Damn…" said Remus, staring at the board. Peter was cracking up. Sirius was mock-crying. Such a drama-queen.

"Rematch?" Peter asked, hopefully.

"Pass." Remus got so tired of being beaten by Peter and his smug chess board. Yes. The pieces were celebrating… until they were swept nonchalantly into a box and shoved back into Peter's bag.

That was when a monumental change in the daily lives of the Marauders occurred: Lily Evans walked by the door. What's so remarkable about this? James stared. He actually stared at her as though she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Well, in all fairness, she was decent, but not the _most_ beautiful thing.

Remus suddenly got why it was easier to tell now. He had missed her. He hadn't seen her all summer.

"You fancy Evans!" he said, prodding him in the arm with his wand, accidentally lighting a spark on his sleeve. "sorry," he added, pulling the wand away.

"I-" The protest died on his lips. The others knew and he could see it in the way they were all looking at him. "She doesn't know I exist." He slumped back in his seat. It was odd for them to see James lacking in confidence. He is usually the very epitome of confidence.

"Just be your self around her," said Sirius. "You're so loud and boisterous that it'll be hard for her not to see you."

"If you hadn't continued that sentence" started Remus, "that could have been actually insightful… cheesy, but insightful. Seriously though, James. It _is _hard not to notice you. If she hasn't, its probably because you're being… shy." Silence. Then all of them but James burst into laughter.

"HAHAHA! SHY!?"

"HAHAH!"

"JAMES! SHY! HA!"

they spent the rest of the train ride laughing, occasionally poking fun at James for his newly revealed crush. It was, altogether, a cheerful ride. The only one to realize something wrong was Remus, seeing Sirius eye him worryingly as he did his best to hide winces. The moon hadn't been that long before, and he was still sore. Sirius clearly noticed.

**A/N Ok. That was dedicated to my mom. Its her birthday :) we made her birthday popcorn. :D ok. Pleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase review! I AM BEGGING YOU! SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS OR FAVORITED IT AND I STILL HAVE NO REVIEWS! PLEASE! EVEN IF YOU READ THIS A YEAR AFTER I POST IT! I **_**ALWAYS **_**LOVE REVIEWS! THANK YOU! **


	4. Back from second year

**A/N ok. Chapter four. Nothing much else to say… OH! EXCEPT THAT IF YOU'RE A RENT FAN, GO TO THE POLL ON MY PROFILE! PPLEEEEEAAAAASE!!!! Thanks :)**

**Disclaimer: The author of the Harry Potter series told the world not to expect any prequels from her. This is in fact a prequel. Now deduct from what I just told you and how bout **_**you**_** tell **_**me**_** if I own this.**

**Train Rides**

"This is bloody ridiculous!" whined James, a sound they were quickly tiring of. "It's vac_ation!_ And you two are already doing _homework!_ Even for Remmie this is extreme! But _YOU_ Sir! _WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!?_"

"Quit being so melodramatic," said Remus, irritably, not looking up from what he was doing. He was concentrating quite hard, and Sirius was watching, making sure he made no mistakes.

"You didn't help him with potions last year!" whined James.

"Last year the curriculum was easier." Sirius followed Remus' example in addressing James without making eye contact. Eye contact was like selling your sole to the devil… the whiny, bespectacled devil. Sirius was a fair Potions student. IT was even his best class. He was also an exceedingly bright boy, despite the fact that he almost always neglected his studies until the last minute. He usually found some way to get it done. Remus was, in fact, a far better student, fabulous at defense against the dark arts, but not amazing in potions. That's not to say he couldn't get it done on his own, but this potion was tricky, so Sirius thought he'd help.

"Great, now one more drop… thaaat's it!" he had been guiding Remus' hand with his own, and now pulled it away. It felt so natural that he didn't even notice the strange heat between their hands. Remus did, and he blushed slightly.

He looked down into the changing surface of his potion, slowly turning dark purple from its previously clear state. He noted just how smooth it was. Smooth enough for him to see every detail of Sirius' face reflected there. His hair, now falling past his shoulders, so shinny and beautiful and…

"And why can't you just work on it later when I'm in a food coma from all the sugar quills?" James continued to whine, jerking Remus back to the real world.

"James, you're being a prat. Sirius, if you're gonna help him, pay attention! He need's to start stirring it before it gets too dark!" Peter snapped, looking up from the book he was reading. He was also bored, but less vocal about it than James.

"Remus, he's right. And if you're so bored, then why not do something with Peter?" Sirius asked.

"Peter's booooring!"

"Hey!"

James aimed a kick at his shin.

"OW!"

"Oh! You're right! This can be fun!"

This bought the other two some time while James and Peter had a small wrestling match. "My money's on Jamie," said Sirius, reaching out to guide Remus' hands once more, as he started to turn too fast.

"You're not going home, are you?" asked Remus, having been curious about this for a while.

"No. I don't suppose I am," said Sirius, more calmly and readily than Remus would have expected.

"Where are you going?" this time he didn't have an answer.

"Does it matter?" he asked finally, stopping his hand to say that Remus should do the same.

"Yes."

. . .

"And how do you intend to pay for things like.. well… I dunno… maybe _food!?_"

"Rem, I've got it all planned out," he spread his arms out in front of him as if showing Remus something amazing. "Working for Zonko's as an irritating, but handsome door-to-door salesperson by day, and be a muggle man-whore by night! I figured that'd piss of my parents more than anything else I could possibly come up with!"

Remus gave him a 'that's not even remotely funny' look he did so well, but was slightly betrayed by a twitch at the corner of his mouth.

Sirius sighed. "I doubt my parents'll actually disown or disinherit me. As long as I am an eligible heir to the Black throne or whatever, they need to keep me as an option in case Reg somehow becomes a bigger screw-up than me. I don't reckon that's gonna happen seeing as the worst he could do is become a death eater, and that'd probably be the happiest occurrence of my parents miserable lives." He said this with venom in his voice that Remus had never noticed before, but then Sirius looked down and smiled. "It looks good, mate." The potion was done. It was a weakened form of Ammortentia that Slughorn used to teach the younger students the basics of more powerful potions like this. He thought it'd be a treat for them, and honestly, remus thought, it hadn't been that bad. Now all that was left was the essay. That would be easy.

"Here," Remus said, passing the other a vile as he slipped one into his own into his robes. Part of the deal was that Sirius didn't have to make his own if he helped out. It worked out nicely for both of them.

"Oi! Got anymore bottles? I could use one of those."

"If you're thinking about using it on Evans, it wont work."

"I know that you moron! I was talking about for the homework!"

Sirius looked at Remus, who nodded reluctantly. Sirius passes a bottle to James and Peter each. They thanked him and Remus.

"We ought to see what it smells like!" piped up Peter. "It smells different to everyone…" he muttered, in response to James' and Remus' questioning stares.

"It's what attracts them. A smell they like, or one that reminds them of someone or thing they love. So if you smell lavender, don't worry, its not some girl. Everyone smells lavender! It's the scent of my shampoo!"

"Haha!" laughed Peter, opening his vile and taking a sniff. "Out of luck, mate! I guess you're not my type! I got honey and… bleh! That smells like my weird cousin's pet rat! Remus, you might have messed something up! And…" he trailed off, probably on the verge of revealing something more personal than he was comfortable with.

"Mine smells like lilies…" muttered James dreamily. The others rolled their eyes, knowing they weren't hearing much more from him for a while.

"I got books…" the others giggled. "My mum's perfume…" many more giggles. "I like how it smells, shut up…some other stuff, too… one's ch-" The other two interrupted him before he could finish his word.

"Chocolate."

"Oh! And let me guess!" said Sirius. "Green tea?"

"Yeah. I've always liked tea…" Remus smiled, and decided it was better to leave it at that. No need to mention the other smells he had experienced.

"I smell smoke!" The others looked alarmed before Sirius clarified. "In the potion. Not the train. It's the smell of unwanted fireworks during exams… and the smell of me burning my jacket with the "black family crest" on it from last summer… and the train. I like the smell of the coal burning and thing… lots of other smells. I can only assume they represent the many girls that are in love with me and are just waiting for me to sweep them away. The others laughed. They spent another hour or so talking about the girls that lay in store for them, and then Remus nudged Sirius meaningfully as he stepped out of their compartment.

"Bathroom," he said.

"I'll come with you. I've gotta go too."

So the two of them stepped into the hall, out of sight from their friends. Sirius gave Remus a questioning look.

"Come stay with me." It was definetly more of a command than an offer, and it left an awkward silence hanign between them for a minute or so, Remus refusing to break eye contact with his long-haired friend.

"Your parents-"

"Won't mind."

"But-"

"Shut up." Remus was not a very forceful person usually, so when he was, you knew it was serious. Sirius therefore nodded, knowing he could not win.

"Now, I actually do have to use the bathroom, so-"

"Right," said Sirius, turning to go back into the compartment.

When Remus arrived at the bathroom, he looked at himself in the mirror. His heart was beating fast, mostly because he had just done something stupid, but also for fear of being rejected. He knew it must've mostly been the stupid, because how in hell was he supposed to hide his condition for three months under the same roof?

That was what he told himself anyway. But part of his mind kept straying back to one of the unmentioned scents he had picked up from his potion earlier.

Lavender.

Remus John Lupin would always remember this as the Summer that first caused him to question his sexuality.

**A/N huzzah! Sexuality! That most likely means he'll come back to school next year all properly gay and not just 'confused' **

**HUZZAH FOR LAVENDER SHAMPOO! RANDOM FEMANINE THING ABOUT SIRIUS! (all these things have to do with hair, including how much he loves it!)**

**REVIEW! PLEASE! THANKS! **


	5. to third year

**A/N More train ride romance comin' right up!**

**Disclaimer: I am **_**not**_** the originator of these characters. If anyone tells you any different, they're telling you dead wrong.**

**Train Rides**

Sirius returned that fall a changed man. If anyone had thought the separation from his family would be hard on him, they had been pretty much as far from the truth as it's possible to be. He was, in a word, ecstatic. He was free for once in his life. The change in him was amazing.

Well, not everyone would think so, I suppose. Remus did, though. He had bee with Sirius all summer, and the subtle differences in his behavior were apparent.

Firstly, he didn't have his usual 'vacation equals pain and unhappiness' attitude that usually showed itself through general moodiness before, after, and, presumably, during the Summer.

Second, he was just more carefree than usual. More carefree? Yes. He just had a happy expression on his face at all times. Remus had grown so accustomed to it that he had started to take it for granted. Therefore, when it vanished that September first, it came as a shock to the light-brown-haired boy. They had just passed through the barrier, slightly late for Remus, and Sirius looked, not sad exactly, but not happy.

"Hey," said Remus, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. He look concerned. "What's up?" Sirius didn't answer for a moment, and during that pause, Remus followed his gaze.

A lanky boy, seemingly too tall for himself, and pale as a ghost stood at the end of it. He had neatly cropped hair, and wore expensive looking robes. A man stood next to him, appearing to be a body guard. The boy's face was young, but something was familiar about that Remus couldn't quite place.

"It's his first day… my brother." Remus looked up, surprised. "I was never lying when I said I hated him, but that's because he was so like _them._ Somehow I always hoped he could change, ya know? He's my little brother and I just… we fought but I kind of just wished I could manage to knock some sense into him one of those days. Maybe get him to have an at least partially sane way of thinking. He's just… smarter than the others and… he's definitely the rebellious type, I knocked that much into him, but he never questions our parents way of thinking and I cant, for the life of me, understand it. That's why he pisses me off so much." Then Sirius' look changed to anger. His eyes had just met Regulus' and wow. If looks could kill. That went double for Regulas' returning glare. "Let's go," said Sirius, forcefully, grabbing Remus and pulling him into the train.

When the others arrived, it was no huge, emotional reunion. They had seen each other a week previously, and James was now so uninterested that he just ran off somewhere, shouting "HEY! LILY! DARLING, OVER HERE!" he had Taken Sirius' advice to heart. Peter then managed a feat impressive even by marauders' standards: He dot detention on the train. Some fireworks he set off caught a girl's skirt on fire. He therefore spent most of the ride doing lines in his own compartment. The teachers figured there'd be no better time to give him detention than on the train.

Therefore, Remus and Sirius got a compartment to themselves. The pair played gobbstones for about half an hour before Remus got tired of Sirius' moping. He was quiet, and quite unlike himself, probably from the unexpected encounter with his family. Or, now that he thought on it, expected. Sirius must've known Regulas would be there. Remus was foolish not to notice something wrong.

"Come on," said Remus suddenly, standing and reaching out his hand. Sirius looked bewildered, but took the hand without question. Remus opened the window, and Sirius stood beside him, still confused, but not enough that he didn't want to see what was going on.

Remus stepped onto the seat and stuck his torso out the window. He pulled himself out and grabbed for the ledge that ran along the top of the train, acting as a handhold. The whole thing was surprisingly easy, the window sill being a perfect foothold. Once Remus was on top of the train, he helped Sirius follow.

"Wow," muttered Sirius, staring in awe as the world passed before his eyes, the sin still rising in the sky.

"Aeolvallo," said Remus, facing the wind. For a moment the air rushing past them seemed to intensify, Sirius' wind billowing behind him as he watched Remus do a beautiful, graceful swirl of his wand, his hair blown back elegantly. Then the wind was gone, and Remus had sat down casually on the top of a moving train.

"Nice one," said Sirius, commenting both on the location and the handy spell.

"It's just more peaceful up here. I found it on the way home for Christmas."

"And you didn't mention it on the last ride?"

"I guess at the time I just wanted to keep it to myself…" This was only partially true. Remus, at the time, had just not wanted to show it to Peter and James. They would, no doubt, use it for pranks and such. Sirius, he knew, would respect it if he knew it was important to him. He was a considerate person.

"I'm okay, you know," said Sirius after a long, comfortable silence in which they both observed the beautiful landscape.

Another pause.

"I know," said Remus, thoughtfully. Sirius wouldn't let his family get to him and they both knew it. No matter what it was, he could and would rise above it. Not because he was particularly good about rising above things, but because he was stubborn and persistent enough that he could usually merely will his problems away. Remus wasn't sure if this was the best tactic, always worrying about his friend bottling it all up, but then he always ended up deciding that anything was fine if Sirius would brighten up again.

"Thanks though. It is beautiful up here…"

"And bigger. Its less crowded."

They slipped back into silence, both staring wistfully out at the world once more. Then Remus decided it was a good time to stop having these, so he broke it.

"Exploding snap?"

"Oh it is ON!"

"Accio!" shouted Remus, and the cards zipped out of the window into his hand.

"How is it that you're so good at this stuff? We aren't even supposed to learn summoning for another year!" said Sirius in awe, as Remus shuffled carefully, so as to avoid burns, and dealt the cards.

"You're better at potions."

"Well yeah! But seriously! '_accio?'"_ Sirius said, gesturing with his hands, forgetting that he was holding his wands and accidentally causing some rocks on the ground to fly up to the train and hit him in the face. "Ow…" he said rubbing the angry red welt in his forehead.

They started to play, and about an hour and two games later, a particularly big explosion went off. They heard a shriek from someone in the compartment below them. They laughed.

When it finally started to get dark, they decided to call it a day. They wandered on top of the train, trying to figure out where they had come in. Then Sirius had an idea.

"This is the worst idea you've ever had!" shouted Remus from where he was hanging. Yes. Hanging. Sirius had cast the Levicorpus charm on him, along with a rather poorly done disillusionment charm. Remus was now angry at himself for suggesting they all learn that one, but it was necessary for "missions" during which it was necessary for them to part with James, who always got first dibs on the cloak.

Thinking about it, Remus considered himself very lucky that he hadn't been suspended in the air, stayed in that one specific place, and watched as the train rode away from beneath him until it got so far away that Sirius' magic failed, and he fell to the ground painfully, and still looking like a piece of the sky behind him. Perhaps the spell was relative to the caster, not the ground or air in which the victim hung. He wasn't sure, but must look into it later.

Such optimistic thoughts as these were hard to come by, however, when one found himself dangling some ten feet above the ground, upside down, moving at the speed of a train, poorly disguised as what had now changed from sky to forest.

"Found it!" he shouted, thankful that he had, as he couldn't take the blood pounding in his ears much longer. When he was safely back on top of the train (a phrase one doesn't hear often) he made himself reappear and climbed back in through the open window. Sirius followed shortly.

No sooner had the pair taken their seats than the door slid open.

"WHERE THE BLOODY HELL WERE YOU! WE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!" James said, plopping down beside Remus, out of breath. Peter stepped in just behind him, in a similar state.

"That," said Sirius, quickly snatching two of Peter's sugar quills he was holding and his last chocolate frog, "is just one of the many things in life you'll have to deal with not knowing." He tossed the quill to James, who caught it with the reflexes that came of an entire summer of training, in hopes of making the team this year. He looked at the quill, seemingly considering the unspoken bribe, before shrugging and popping the end into his mouth, sucking happily.

Sirius caught Remus' eye, his own treat now in his mouth, much to Peter's indignation, and pressed the chocolate frog into his hands with a wink. Remus blushed, but smiled in thanks, both for the cover-up and the chocolate.

As the train neared its final destination, one thing was on each boy in their compartment's mind: This was going to be an awesome year. I can feel it.

**A/N YAY! STUFF! PLESE REVIEW AND I SHALL LOVE YOU FOREVER! :D xoxo**


	6. Back from third year

**A/N MORE GAY TRAINS HARRY POTTER FIC! WOOHOO! Yeah. I my mind this is called 'Gay harry potter remuzxsirius fic about trains' . . . but Train Rides seemed… better**

**Disclaimer: NO OWNING OF HARRY POTTER FOR ME! **

**Train Rides**

That year had been, with the exception of one small detail, the worst year of the Marauders' lives. This small detail was, in fact, not so small. It ended up effecting their years at school immensely, and, ultimately, played a huge role in the eventual deaths of all the Marauders*. James, Sirius and Peter had finally finished the spell they were working on and revealed it to Remus. After the initial shock of his best friends knowing that he was a werewolf and having become animagi wore off, everything became amazing. It almost made up for the extra work and classes that came with being a third year. Almost. Exams were busy, and their new classes weren't exactly interesting. Regulus being there had also taken it's toll on Sirius, they noticed. It was hard.

Then, when all the stressful exams and studying and helping each other out was over, in the last week of school, everything fell apart. The friends that Remus held so dear, who he had felt he could trust with anything, betrayed him. But now, just mere days later, Remus found himself alone in his compartment on the train, thoughts of forgiveness swirling through his brain. It had been the worst breach of their trust he could imagine, but they had made up for it in everyway they could think of, and he was getting lonely without them. Well, they hadn't _all _repented. He pushed that thought out of his mind, thinking only of working things out with his friends.

James looked up as he heard a knock on the door.

"Yes?" he asked, looking up from his book. Things had been quiet for the past few days, exceedingly awkward, so he and Peter had taken to reading books on the train, rather than games. "Oh. Moony! Hi! Come in," James said, moving over so Remus would have space to sit.

"Hey," he said awkwardly. "Is it okay that I'm here… I mean…" Remus didn't know what he meant.

"Of course. Have you… I mean can you… Will you forgi-"

"I'm trying, prongs. Really I am. I just want things to be back to normal. I still want to see you over the summer, you too Peter, and I still want to be a Marauder… I'm just… Hurt, right now. You can understand that, right?" The others nodded, and there was an awkward silence.

"That's great, mate," said Peter, smiling, and being the only one brave enough to break the silence. "We were dumb… We were beyond dumb, and I'm really happy that you're willing to give us a second chance. Really… I think most people wouldn't." Remus smiled at Peter warmly. He thought that Sirius had never really given Peter enough credit as a person, and James saw him more as a minion who boosted his confidence by idolizing him and following him around all the time. But Remus had a fondness for the underdog, not that of his feelings for the other two, but he saw that he was cleverer than most thought, no matter how low his self-esteem that he would devote his life to following someone else around, content with living in their shadow.

"Where's Padfoot," he asked eventually.

"He said he needed the loo about half an hour ago," said James. "I figure he just wanted some time… alone… Or maybe something at breakfast didn't agree with him." James shrugged. Remus smiled, and rose.

"I think I'm gonna go see if he's ok," he said, stepping out into the hall with a wave.

"Kay. See you."

Remus wandered back to his old, empty seat, praying that it still was empty, and was pleased to see it was. He wasted no time in climbing out the window, and, when he hoisted himself onto the top of the train, he saw exactly what he was expecting. Sirius was sitting on the edge of the train, the wind completely halted to the point where it was almost eerily quiet atop the train.

Remus approached quietly, sitting down beside his friend.

"If you jump, I'd never forgive you, you know that, right?" he said in an almost emotionless voice.

"Like you'd forgive me anyways," replied Sirius, not looking up from the ground they were speeding over. "Like I would let you," he added. Remus got the feeling he might be crying somewhere under the curtain of hair that hid his face. The thought disturbed him. Sirius never cried. Brooded? Yes. Yelles? Definitely. But crying was something else.

"Padfoot…"

"The drop wouldn't kill me," said Sirius calmly. "But if that was what I was aiming for, I could just do this." He raised his wand quickly to his own heart, a sight that startled Remus to the point where he himself almost fell of the train.

"Sirius!"

"Why do you care!?" shouted Sirius, looking up for once, revealing a tearstained face that he was clearly not proud of. "Why do you give a crap weather I live or die!?"

"Look! If you want me to hate you, here's all I have to say: You were an ass! What you did was wrong on so many levels I'm not even begin to count them! It could have resulted in someone dying and I don't understand how that wasn't immediately apparent to you when the idea first popped into your head! I don't like Severus, but no one deserves to die! And to think that you thought it would be okay to take advantage of me like that! And to betray my trust! It disgusts me! But, Sirius Black, I will never hate you. If that's what you want, you're out of luck. I've thought about it and I'm ready to forgive you. If you'd rather sit around and wallow in self pity, that's your problem, not mine! And you better deal with it, because I'm trying to forgive you and you're just sitting there, making things worse for yourself. I know you know that what you did was wrong and you stopped it! And I am telling you that I AM FINE! Now quit moping and come say something!" He was standing now, tears welling up in his own eyes, and his heart melted at the sight of his friend sitting there, looking up at him in shock, his expression seeming lost and confused, but something else was there that he couldn't read. Saddness? Anger? Happiness? He just couldn't tell.

"I- I wasn't going to kill myself," he muttered finally, stowing his wand in his back pocket as he rose, facing Remus.

"I know, you silly mutt, I was just worried you were gonna accidentally blow your head off or something! Or the train could've bumped and you could've accidentally impaled yourself!" Remus was smiling, his arms open. Sirius accepted, drawing him into a long embrace.

"You're an amazing person, Moony. Really you are. I kept telling myself that I didn't want your forgiveness- that I didn't deserve it, but I don't even know what I would've done if you hadn't. A-and… I think I was telling myself that so I would be better when you didn't forgive me. It just seemed so unlikely." Sirius was crying again, but less than before, and Remus was really at a loss. Still, something inside of him, like a big hole that had appeared in the last few days, seemed to have been filled.

After a few minutes in which they sat down, Remus with his knees up, and Sirius curled up against him, Sirius spoke. "Hey, Moony?"

"Mhm?"

"I don't suppose… you… still have a spare room at your house for me?"

Remus smiled. "Always, Padfoot. Always."

"Great! Cause I didn't have an alternative. I suppose I could've asked James or someone at some point, but That'd be and entire summer of him moaning about how much he missed bloody _Evans!_" Sirius mimed vomiting and Remus laughed. It was as if everything was all normal again.

Everything except the butterflies in his stomach. Everything except the random thoughts in his head about how beautiful the boy, almost man leaning against him was. Everything except the enormous crush he had developed on said boy-man. Yes, within the last year, Remus had finally accepted a large fact in his life: He was most definitely either homosexual, or bisexual. He wasn't quite sure which, yet, because the only person he could really think of in that way was Sirius. Not girls, not boys, just Sirius. In his own mind, he was something along the lines of 'siriusexual.'

Sirius on the other hand, was a mystery. He had, in the last few months, gone out with one or two girls, both of whom he seemed to be uninterested in, and had taken out merely to humor them. He had, on occasion, commented on girls who he thought were nice or pretty, but he never acted on this. The same went for boys, though perhaps less often, and the others were never quite sure if he was joking or not. He did joke, sometimes, but that was usually about his undying love for one of the marauders. Well, he definitely liked girls, and Remus wasn't willing to let himself dwell too much on the possibility of him liking boys as well. He might, god forbid, get his hopes up. If, hypothetically, Sirius could maybe be attracted to a person of the same sex, then what, I ask you, are the chances that he, Sirius black, handsome, popular gryfendore would choose someone like Remus. He wasn't anything special, unless you counted his lycanthropy, which, for all intensive purposes, was not in any way shape or form a good thing. The only good thing he could think about himself was that he was smart, and something told him Sirius didn't fancy the nerdy type. He had permanently filed this crush under the category of 'unrequited love.' Period. End of story.

For now, Remus was just happy to have the beautiful boy that caused him such inner turmoil lying here in his arms as the train sped across England.

They just sat there like that, and it wasn't until the sun went down that Sirius realized his pillow was sleeping. He moved over slightly, so he wouldn't knock Remus over, and stared fondly at the boy he loved. The beautiful, caring person that had forgiven him against all odds, restoring the happiness to his life. 'If he isn't perfect,' thought Sirius, drifting off into sleep, 'no one is…'

**A/N theeeee end! Well, not of the story, just of the chapter. NEXT ONE COMIN UP SOON! YAY! Xoxo. REVIEW! PLEASE!**

*** Peter being an animagus played a large part in the war, hence effecting most of their deaths**


	7. To fourth year

**A/N Ok. More. I can honestly say I have no idea what to write this chapter… so I'll just sit back and let my keyboard do the talking (an exceedingly bad plan seeing as you never know just will come out)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own. Kindly don't sue. Thaaaanks.**

**Train Rides**

Sirius Black possessed many Gryffindore traits: He was loyal, often thought without acting, and many more. The main thing that one generally saw in all Gryfindores was bravery, something he seemed to be lacking lately.

He had spent most of the summer watching his companion carefully, always thinking how nice it would be to tell him how he fealt. And every time, something stopped him: His conscience.

_What if he's not gay and gets all offended… and he is scared away… is still mad about snivellus even though he won't show it…_

The reasons seemingly had no end. The other side of his brain, the side in which his ego and astounding confidence usually lived, was saying quite different things.

**Come off it! No one can resist your charms! Moony said it himself, he was fine. He was not still mad! And seriously, he's **_**Moony!**_** He would never leave you over something like this.**

When it all came down to it, the first half of his brain made more sense and was very pleased to have triumphed over the other one for once.

"Padfoot, I don't want to act like your mum…. Or A mum, but you've barely touched your bacon. You've just been staring into space…" And by 'space,' Remus meant that he had been staring at his mouth as he ate and it was starting to really creep him out. "Seriously, at least blink. And, Merlin Sir, if you turn that into a pun _again, _I will wipe that permanent smirk off your face.

"If it could be wiped off so easily, it wouldn't be permanent."

"Eat your breakfast," said Remus, droping the smirk-wiping topic and quickly changing his voice to a stern, motherly voice. Normally he wouldn't have cared, so long as Sirius wasn't staring at him anymore, but today they were on a tight schedule. Today was, in fact, September First.

Today was their triumphant return to Hogwarts, and the unholy loads of classes, and the issues with Severus they had left behind three months ago. Oh, joy.

"Oi! Prongs! Wormtail! Over hear!" shouted Remus loudly, as they stepped through the barrier side by side a few hours later.

"Moony!" said Peter, running to give his friend a hug.

"Pads! Moons! Hey!" said James, giving them both hugs as well. They had seen each other a month or so before, so everything was patched up within their friendship at least. It was a relief for all of them, having more to deal with than they wanted as it was.

"Come on then," said James, putting his arm around Sirius' shoulder. "You two are late _again!_ We've gotta go before all the compartments are full." They nodded, and followed as James led them onto the train and into the first empty room they found.

"So how've you two been?" asked Sirius, addressing Peter and James.

"Fine. Mum's made me actually _do _my homework this summer," said James in mock-agony.

"Tough luck. You Pete?"

"Can't complain. Summer's pretty boring when two of your best friends are so in _love_ with each other that they don't even find time to _write!_"

Sirius chuckled, feeling slightly bad about that now that he thought on it. "Right… sorry mate. We were. . . busy."

James snorted. The others raised eyebrows at him. "Sorry, that was just a funny comment after the whole 'in love' thing. Never mind." Remus looked unamused.

"Veeeery mature, Jamie," he said, James looking up angrily at the use of his nickname.

"Easy, Prongs" said Sirius, holding back his friend with a smile on his face as James feigned outrage and started flailing madly in an attempt to strangle Remus.

"Jaaaaamiejamiejamiejamiejamiejamiiiiieeeeee!" taunted Remus, smirking, and then they clamed down, laughing. Comments about the Marauders being in love were not uncommon, especially among the Marauders themselves, and Remus had trained himself to be un-phased by them. While much of the female population in the grades around them were madly in love with James or Sirius, or, some of them were this crazy, Remus himself. Peter was not as popular. But another portion of the Hogwarts population, smaller, but still there, were placing bets on which of them were secretly dating. The popular theory being that James and Sirius had been planning to elope as soon as their years at Hogwarts were over, and Remus had to admit, he felt a little jealous. It wasn't that James had done anything, so much as the fact that nobody thought he and Sirius could ever be together. He himself didn't think so, but it still hurt. Just a bit.

"Oi! Rem! Moons! Moony! Moonshine!" said Sirius, snapping his fingers in Remus' face.

"Cut it out, pads," said Remus irritably, swatting his hand away. "And _Moonshine?_ I think _not!_"

"Suit yourself," said Sirius, shrugging. He'd just have to find a way to make it stick later. Without Remus' knowledge, of course.

They sat in silence for a moment.

"Why were you snapping me out of my thoughtful trance now?" asked Remus, thinking he might just return to it if the answer was not satisfactory.

"You were staring at me," said Sirius simply. "It was creepy." Remus fought the urge to sink into his chair and die, and instead replied.

"Now you know. It was just as creepy this morning when _you _did it!" Sirius chuckled and shrugged. Their eyes met, and they didn't look away for a moment, unsure of what to say or do.

"I've just had an idea!" said James enthusiastically, rising from his seat dramatically. The others look skeptical. This could not be good. Sure enough: "Why don't you lot help me plan a way to get My Love to admit she missed me this summer!"

"Who? Your reflection? I think all you have to do is look in the mirror and say 'I missed you,'" said Peter, smirking.

"Not cool," muttered James, blushing slightly.

"Better idea," said Sirius, pulling something out of his bag. "What say you, me and moonshine here show you what we were really up to this summer? Hm?"

Remus grinned, helping Sirius unfold the large piece of parchment. The other two looked at it curiously for a moment before Peter spoke up.

"It's . . . Hogwarts…"

"Veeery good!" said Remus sarcastically.

"And?" asked James, knowing his friends brilliance probably meant there was more to this than met the eye, but not quite getting it.

"See that," said Sirius, pointing to a bit of writing that appeared to be moving into a corridor that just ended, presumably one that they had yet to finish drawing in.

"Is that…"

"Mrs. Norris? Right now? Yeah!" said Sirius, his grin widening.

"I put the charm on her just before exams last June. I had the idea, and I thought it might come in handy. We were thinking of having it be a full map of Hogwarts with secret passages and instructions on how to get around and stuff. And we've been trying to work out how to put the tracking charm on the whole castle. Probably gonna have dots as well as the names you see."

"And my favorite part," said Sirius, bringing out his wand, "is this: Mischief managed." The whole thing vanished. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." It reappeared just a suddenly. "Moony's idea of course. Along with basically everything."

"Don't lie, pads. You thought of making it a map. I just thought of tracking people near you and what direction the were in, but this is far more useful."

"You two are bloody brilliant!" interjected James, snatching up the map. "Of course we should make it appear more… gracefully, like it could draw itself on here. That'd be cool!"

"And we should have it write messages to people who try to access it without knowing the password!" said Peter enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Nice thinking, wormy!" said Sirius, who was writing this on a piece of parchment he had summoned.

The group spent most of the rest of the ride editing the map with what they had there and making plans to steal stuff from the classrooms to use later.

Remus smiled, happier that he had forgiven his idiot friends more than he had been at any point during the summer. He would have missed this, and now he didn't have to. With friends like this, he couldn't help but feel safe and warm.

**A/N yay! Another chapter! Ok, this is me guilting you into reviewing. It's like any other problem in the world: if you think your input doesn't matter, you wont do anything… AS WILL EVERYONE ELSE! Its like… recycling. You may think you don't have to recycle since it wont have impact on the world, but if everyone thinks that, and everyone does, and doesn't try because of it, nobody would recycle. That would be bad. Every persons input matters. SOOOO: if you think that other people will listen to my pleas for reviews and its therefore not worth the minute it will take from your life to type the constructive criticism I KNOW you have, then think again, because this is what people naturally assume when they know other people are around to do the things they themselves don't want to do. So please, be one of the special people that understands that one review can go a long way. Please brighten up my day just a bit. Please review! xoxoxo**


	8. Back from fourth year

**A/N More remusxsirius. To make up for the last chapter of very little puppylove, I am going to have this one overflowing with it ;)**

**Disclaimer: **

_**I**_**'m gonna eat you if you try to sue me**

_**D**_**isclaimers are hard to come up with after a while**

_**O**_**lder disclaimers are probably better than this one… idk**

_**N**_**ever question my lack of owning, I assure you now that I NEVER own anything.**

_**T**_**elling you that I don't own harry potter gets old at some point. This is it**

_**O**_** is a letter I already used, and I cant think of another one for it**

_**W**_**hatever**

_**N**_**ext time my disclaimer will be cooler than this one.**

**Train Rides**

Remus didn't ask for much, he felt. A little peace and quiet from his friends so he could study every now and then, some chocolate would be nice, a cup of tea to get him up in the morning… And, occasionally, living year-round under the same roof as the man for whom he had intense, unrequited love. _Other than that_, he barely asked the time of day from a watch. Now, however, he was sitting on top of the train brooding, which, he had decided after it happening only once, was a very 'Sirius' thing of him to do.

He just wasn't sure what Sirius was on about 'having to find his own place.' He was fine living with Remus! He loved it! He said it himself! Why would he do something as stupid as find his own place? Well… Remus could think of a few things… like independence, the thing he had left his family for. And not being a 'burden' on him and his parents. As if. And because he was fifteen. Well, fifteen wasn't really the same as 'adult,' but he got the point. He was older than when he had run away, and now he was more confident and old enough to stand on his own two feet.

That was why Remus had chosen to respect Sirius' decision rather than protesting. Also, he wasn't sure it was his place to protest. And it would end up being awkward for him. So, instead, he had climbed onto the top of the train, locking the window behind him. Having locked it, the next thing that happened was surprising.

"Mate," said Sirius, putting his hand on Remus' shoulder. "_That wasn't the only empty compartment in the train_." He whispered it, and Remus fought the urge to shiver, yelling back at him instead.

"I didn't lock the window! It got stuck behind me!"

"Right," said Sirius, dropping it, but keeping a look on his face that told Remus he knew that was a lie. "What's up?"

"Nothing. I was gonna come back in in a bit, but I felt a bit motion sick…" then Remus caught his mistake. Motion sickness. Coming home for Christmas that year, Sirius had gotten it, and, while sitting next to him in the bathroom and holding back his hair, Remus had mentioned that it had never really effected him since the bite. Maybe it was because he now had an alter-ego that could run even faster than the Hogwarts express. Sirius smirked, having won the battle. "Just gonna be lonely this summer, without you, pads."

"So you decided to isolate yourself now so… you could ease into the transition?"

"Shut up. You know I like thinking up here."

"Yeah. I'm thinking the two of us have spent more time _on _the train then… on the train lately." Remus snorted. "ya know what I mean."

"Yeah. I do. The train's just busy…"

"We should go down at some point, to… you know. Be with the other two. If we leave 'em alone together for too long, I reckon Peter'll jump James. That'd just be an awkward thing to walk in on." Remus chuckled and made to stand up. "I bet Peter can have self restraint for a few more minutes, though," Sirius hastened to add. He grabbed Moony by the sleeve and pulled him to where he himself had just sat down.

"Pads," started Remus.

"Listen, Moony, there are just some things I feel like I need to work out. And you know I love … d living with you. You were… are like…" he paused for a moment, trying to find a heterosexual ending to that sentence. "… a brother to me. Like James…. And Peter can be the slightly odd brother in law… I don't know, but I just really need to be on my own for once. I feel like I still have something to prove to my p-parents…" he stopped, looking at his golden-haired friend for some sign as to what he was thinking.

"I know that you twat!" he said, smacking Sirius in the back of the head and fighting the urge to cry. "Why do you think I locked the window? So I wouldn't have to tell you that I didn't want you to leave! I know why you want to, and I know I can't and shouldn't try to stop you! So why even bother telling you I cared? Oh yeah! Now I remember! _That_ wasn't even on _my_ agenda! You're the one that forced me to tell you!"

Silence… then….

"That's how you deal with problems? Keeping them locked up until you eventually suppress them into a little ball of depression that you will ignore until it eats you alive?"

"You and me both."

"I guess you're right," said Sirius. "One difference though…" Remus looked at him with dull curiosity. "When I came up here, I was feeling sorry for myself. You came up here to protect my feelings." They sat in silence again. "Thanks. You know I'll come visit you. You can come stay at my flat for a few days, as well. The people said I could move in tomorrow."

"Thank's pads… that'd be nice. I just had gotten used to you always being around… and it's just gonna be lonely without you." Sirius wondered weather or not he should wipe the tear from Remus' check, or pretend he hadn't noticed it and spare the boy's pride. He went with the first. He couldn't resist.

His hand came up slowly, and wiped the single tear gently off Remus' scarred face. Remus looked surprised, and blushed, pulling away slightly. "I- I… Sorry." He said. Now Sirius was surprised.

"What for?"

"Crying…" said Remus. Sirius was definitely about to say something. No. He couldn't. "Hey, how bout you head on down. I'll catch up in a few minutes."

Sirius did not protest, but walked coolly over to the window from which he'd come, and slipped elegantly back through it. Crap!

Remus sat there for a moment, drying his tears, before he stood. He was about to walk over to the window, but paused for a moment, thinking about the conversation. 'You're like a brother to me…like… James.' He was not gonna lie, that hurt. Well, at least he was not gonna lie to himself… or Sirius, really. It wasn't lying, so much as withholding the truth. Point was, he was now in a worse mood than before. Sirius was still going, he was now his 'brother,' and he had to go down and act like nothing was wrong. Fabulous.

He walked over to the window Sirius had gone through, and, after bringing back the wind, swung gracefully into James.

"What the-!" he shouted, his words muffled my Peter, who had tripped and landed on his face. "Gerrof!" he shouted, shoving him off and gasping for air.

"We've been caught," said Sirius from the door, where he was watching this with a grumpy expression on his face.

"What?" said Remus, angrily. It was rhetorical, but James answered anyway.

"You two've been sneaking up to the roof of the train without us! Brilliant, but still not cool."

"I _meant_ 'what, our hiding place or out seceret, passion-filled love affair?'" said Remus, slightly sarcastically, and slightly in a mock-deffensive voice.

"Both now!" said Peter, grinning.

"Why aren't you more upset!?" demanded Sirius angrily. "I liked not having these two up there all the time! They're gonna take it over!"

Remus stood and whispered in his ear "They don't know the spell to stop the wind." Sirius grinned.

"Right! I'm over it! 'Sploding Snap, anyone?"

Once they had successfully reduced their compartment to ashes, they decided it was time to find a new one. They ended up finding the one Remus had excited through earlier, which was, thankfully, still empty.

Several hours later, they arrived at the King's Cross Station, and, while James, Peter and Remus stood up, Sirius stayed seated.

"Coming, mate?" said James.

"In a sec. I've just realized I might have left something on top of the train. I'll check in my bag. You can go ahead." He gave a meaningful look to Remus, wordlessly imploring him to come up with his own excuse to stay. He got the hint.

"I'll catch up too. Sirius'll need help summoning it if he did leave it. He's rubbish at 'accio.'" Normally Sirius would have argued, but he was thankful Remus had agreed without question or seeming suspicious.

"What?" he asked, a bit more shortly than intended.

"I just… I… I'm gonna miss you over the summer Remus… and…"

Remus had no idea what was going on. Sirius was so self-conscious all of a sudden, and it was freaking him out.

"Yes?" he prompted.

"I…" then, seemingly at a loss for words, he flung himself across the small room they were in, pinned Remus against the door, and pressed his lips to his friend's… more than friend? He stepped apart after a few seconds, and looked at Remus. Neither said anything for a moment, but Remus seemed to be getting angry, something one rarely saw. Upset and flustered happened, but not often angry.

"You… complete… ass!" he said, looking very angry now. "You wait till _now,_ whan you're moving _out_ to tell me… or… to do that!?" Sirius was dumbfounded. "I'm going to kill you!" And, instead of doing that, Remus pulled Sirius into another, deeper kiss.

"What do you think's taking them so long?" asked Peter worriedly.

"Snogging," replied James simply. Peter laughed. "No, seriously. Snogging." Peter laughed again, but this time more hesitantly. "Peter? Have you honestly never noticed?" Peter looked confused. "Peter… they _are_ snogging…" Any traces of Peter's smile vanished and was replaced by a look of complete stupidity.

"Wait… what?"

"Never mind. Peter, you're denser than me!"

This time, Peter looked offended. "Hey!"

But their argument was cut short because of Remus and Sirius exiting the train with idiotic, happy looks plastered on their faces. When Peter and James (who was good at playing… or not playing dumb) looked at them questioningly, Sirius blushed and said "Um… we found it!"

**A/N soooo that is my awesome newest chapter of looooove! YAY! PLEEEEEEEEASE REVIEW! XOXOXOXOXO!**


	9. To fifth year

**A/N Ok, so I just finished writing chapter eight and was like "OMG! I HAVE 4 HOURS BEFORE I NEED TO BE ANYWHERE!" so yeah. Now I'm writing this next post super quickly! ARENT YOU EXCITED?!?!? (I kinda am)**

**Disclaimer: I hereby declare that, until further notice, I PERMENANTLY do not own harry potter, and therefore no longer feel obligated to write a disclaimer EVERY chapter.**

**Train Rides**

"Sirius," said Remus standing up shakily. "You will be the death of me."

"Oh come on! My driving wasn't that bad!"

"No, Sirius, I don't think it was. I think it was more the fact that you forced me on that muggle suicide machine instead of something sensible like a PORT KEY OR FLOO POWDER MAYBE!" Fifteen-year-old, Sirius black just smiled, also stepping off his motorcycle. She was his pride and joy. Her name was Marianne. He loved her more than Remus. Remus himself didn't particularly mind, so long as his boyfriend kept his two loves as far away as possible. This pretty much meant Remus in the apartment and Marianne on the street, an arrangement that constantly caused Sirius to worry, saying she was cold and lonely. On these occasions, Remus had proceeded to hit him in the back of the head with the nearest pillow.

Yes, Remus Lupin had, in fact, been staying with his boyfriend, Sirius, for most of the past three weeks. Well, being fourteen, he hadn't moved in or anything, but his parents knew and loved Sirius, so they had pretty much let Remus stay for three days at a time, but made him spend time with them as well. Remus was amazed that they never once seemed to suspect anything more than friendship between them, though he supposed it had something to do with the fact that they had seen them as siblings for three years.

"I woke up early for you, you rode Marianne for me," said Sirius shrugging. Remus didn't even bother to argue that these were _not _the same thing. "Come on, lets get going before all the good identical compartments are gone!" said Sirius sarcastically, pulling Remus by the hand and running off towards the barrier. Remus counted to ten, rolling his eyes, and just as he finished, Sirius came running back, having completely forgotten his trunk.

"Idiot," he muttered, as he followed Sirius. His false anger was slightly betrayed by the fond smile pulling at the corners of his mouth. Well, at least Sirius was a _lovable_ idiot.

"Wonder when Prongs'll get here," said Sirius boredly, his head leaning agains Remus' shoulder.

"Right now!" said a loud voice from the door to their empty compartment. Two loud pops sounded and Remus and Sirius were covered in confetti.

"I'm not even going to ask. It seems _everyone's_ trying to give me a heart attack with these muggle contraptions," muttered Remus, brushing it out of his eyebrow as Sirius quickly straightened up. Remus instantly missed the weight on his shoulder.

"Hi!" said Peter, seemingly the source of the second 'pop.'

"Hey!" replied Sirius, giving them each a hug. Remus did the same and then they were all sitting across and beside each other. Remus was in front of James and beside Peter, while Sirius was beside James and across from Peter.

"Cutting it a bit close this year, aren't we?" asked Remus, checking his watch. A few seconds later the train was moving.

"Yeah, I guess," said James. "We knew you'd be here Moons, and we figured you'd bring your girlfriend along as well, so we decided as long as we'd have an audience, we might as well make a grand entrance!" Remus and Sirius looked expectantly at him, waiting for the ending.

"So we stopped at a muggle party store," explained Peter, smiling.

"Ah," said Remus, looking satisfied with this answer. "So how was your summer?" he asked James.

"Boooring as hell!" he replied, a look of anguish on his face. If there was one thing James Potter hated, it was boredom. "Peter went to bloody France and I was stuck at home with my _parents _and my_ homework!"_

"Oh yeah, Peter, how was France?" asked Remus, turning away from his skinny friend.

"It was great! We visited-"

"Does nobody care that I spent the last three months in boring solitude and pain!?" interrupted James.

"No," put in Sirius, now also looking at Peter.

The four spent the next half hour describing their various summers. Remus and Sirius' summers did include a lot of each other, especially in the last month, and though they left out some crucial parts (caugh-snogging-caugh), it did not go unnoticed by James and Peter. Over the Summer, Peter had had time to digest the information James had given him last June, and feel properly stupid for not having noticed it before.

Remus looked at Sirius, giving him a thankful look. They hadn't really discussed coming out to the other marauders, so he was thankful Sirius hadn't mentioned it. He supposed they could talk about it later, that is, if they could find a time or place to be alone.

It wasn't that Remus didn't want to tell Peter and James. On the contrary, those were two of his best friends in the world, and he wanted nothing more than to be completely honest with them, feeling that he had one too many big secrets in his life as it was. The problem was more in telling them. He had no doubt in his mind that people who could accept a werewolf as a friend would be fine with a little something like this, but he honestly and truly didn't have any idea how one would come out. 'Hi, guess what! while you were in France and you were at home, we were in Sirius' apartment snogging because we're both very gay.' Yeah. Somehow that didn't have the right ring to it. Well, more specifically, that just sounded dumb. Point was, part of him just really wished the others would just… know. And not need to be told.

"Um…" started Peter, looking confused as Remus and Sirius concluded the tellings of their summers with no mention of them being a couple. "I … are… Um…" all eyes were now on him. "Are you two dating?" asked Peter, blushing.

"Oh for Christ's sake, Peter!" shouted James. "You couldn't have waited for them to tell you, could you?"

"You… two… knew…?" asked Remus, looking shocked. Ok, he had kind of been hoping for it, but it didn't mean he wasn't surprised.

"Um… yeah," said Sirius. None of them really knew what to say. "Petey, good job. I didn't think you'd notice," said Sirius. Peter looked slightly offended, but couldn't blame Sirius, seeing as he hadn't exactly noticed until someone pointed it out.

"James told me," he muttered.

"Yeah… you two were kind of… obviously in love with each other?" said James, smiling at the two dumbstruck faces.

"Come on! Half the school thought you and Sirius were secretly planning to elope!" said Remus.

"Well, yeah, but when you know for a fact that that one's not true, it's pretty easy to spiot the real couple actually… I think it's just that me and Sirius would look better together..." There was a brief moment in which they all pictured Sirius and James walking hand and hand across the Hogwarts grounds, James batting his eyes, and Sirius looking back at him lovingly. "Or not."

The rest of the train ride was far less tense, there being no 'secrets' causing them worry, and Remus realized he had almost forgotten something in the midst of the pleasant conversation that followed the first hour of the train ride.

"It's done!" he shouted suddenly mid thought. Peter and James both looked up excitedly, not caring about the interruption.

"Really?" asked Peter.

"Wow!" said James, admiring the map Remus had just pulled out of his bag.

"All that's left is to sign it!" said Sirius, who had also forgotten.

Remus also pulled out the special quill they had been using for it. "It just needed some finishing touches. And, Peter, I think you ought to check the insults it gives people who don't know the password, I'm not sure if that's still having problems…" he said all this as it was being passed around and signed, held as though it was a treasure the likes of which no one could even imagine. It was the outcome of a year's hard work. Many people in the school were wondering why there had been so few large pranks, and, as it turned out, it was because the time usually necessary for those was being put into exploration for anything that had yet to be discovered. Now, after this past year of research and exploration, it was finally done.

"Give it a try!" said Peter, holding it out to Remus, the mastermind behind most of the spells on it. Remus looked at the now blank piece of parchment in his hands.

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he said, in barely more than a whisper. They all stared in awe. Lines wove themselves around one another, words in James' neat handwriting writing themselves before their eyes, and, the most important part, labeled dots moving here and there, preparing for the feast, and setting up their class rooms for the next day. It had worked.

This next year would be spent making up for the missed prank opertunities of the previous one. Look out Hogwarts, the Marauders were back.

**A/N huzzah! Chapter nine is completed! PLEEEAAASSSEEE REVIEEEW! XOXOXO not as good as the last one… Idk… I didn't really have a plan for this, except that origionally Remus and Sirius were going to come out some time in the following year, but this is how it turned out. Better stuff coming up. Actually the next chapter I have planned is chapter fifteen, so get ready for a looooot of fillers! Don't worry, I'll make them worth your while.**


	10. Back from fifth year

**A/N chapter ten! WOOHOOO! YEAAAAH! DOUBLE DIGITS! YAY! Ok. I'm over it. I am, yet again, writing this from the early arrival to la clase de Espanol. Huzzah. Remus and Sirius are out and the map is finished. Yay! EVERYTHING IS AS IT SHOULD BE! Or is it?! That's actually a legit question seeing as I haven't planned this chapter and therefore don't know if it is or isn't… enough rambling: ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

**Train Rides**

The four boys collapsed into the compartment together, not a word spoken. This past year had been possibly the best year for pranks in Hogwarts history. They had caused the Christmas trees to start waltzing in the middle of Dumbledore's speech. They had enchanted one of the stairs to vanish when it was stepped on. They had even (**A/N POKESHIPPING IS CANNON! CANNON YOU FOOOOOLS! Sorry. Random.) **placed magicalfireworks in the bottom of the potions cauldrons so that they would wait until the potion was almost finished, they would explode loudly and colorfully. Why, then, one might ask, had they been in a state of stressful exhaustion for the past month? The answer was simple and unquestionable: Ordinary Wizarding Levels.

Fifth year at Hogwarts was the first time students ever really appreciated how easy everything had been up until then. Piece of cake.

"I need chocolate…" muttered Remus, leaning against Sirius' arm. Sirius smiled and took some out of his pocket. He offered it to Remus who took it gratefully. Sirius immediately regretted this due to the fact that it had caused Remus to get up. "You carry around chocolate?"

Sirius shrugged.

"How d'you reckon you did?" asked James to the whole group. James had taken a special interest to academics this year, and though most of the population seemed to be under the impression that he had finally realized how smart he was, his fellow marauders knew better. He had decided that, since he already _knew_ just how smart he was, putting a bit of effort behind that might help attract the attention of a certain green-eyed red-head they knew.

"Ok," said Remus, still eating. Everyone else snorted and laughed. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"So modest, moons! You're gonna get all Os and laugh at us when we all get _trolls!_" said Peter, still laughing.

"And you know it!" added Sirius, leaning against his boyfriend happily. "That's my Remmie!" he said, winking. "I, for one, am quite confident in my grades!" announced Sirius proudly.

"Really now?" asked Remus skeptically.

"Yeah, well the person I was sitting next to was a bloody Ravenclaw, so I think I should've gotten good answers from her," he said, smirking. Remus looked unamused. "_And_ I studied hard and diligently!" added Sirius. This time Remus laughed out loud, along with the other two. Sirius never studied, but he never cheated. Any mention of either regarding the boy Remus sat beside was a blatant lie, immediately recognizable to anyone who had ever met the young Black. He did, however, get very good grades, he and James both being naturally smart but not altogether studious. Peter was less smart, but generally made it a point to put in a bit of work, keeping up with his friends. Remus, on the other hand, was a smarter person and a better student than any of his friends could hope to be, and it was no secret.

"I think I _failed _History of Magic," groaned Peter in an agonized voice. James gave him a sympathetic pat on the back. "Other than that, though, I suppose I did aright." He shrugged.

"You better have!" said James. "I helped you for hours on the bloody transfiguration!"

"How bout you, James?" asked Rmus, crossing his legs and leaning back in his seat, still with Sirius' weight against his left arm.

"Good enough to win me some Evans!" he shouted enthusiastically. The others rolled their eyes. The whole academic angle to winning Lily's heart had not been going so well, so James had decided to flaunt his grades a bit more. That had earned him attention, but more in a disgusted way than romantic. Backfire.

The door slid open suddenly and revealed someone who rarely talked to the Marauders: Regulas Arcturus Black. He was smirking down at Sirius from his impressive height for a thirteen-year-old. He was tall and lanky, his skin paler than Sirius' and the look on his face was the one he usually wore when addressing his older brother. One of loathing and smugness.

"I just though you ought to know I'll be informing Mum and Dad about you and your little…" he eyed Remus. "_Friend_. I don't like what you've been doing, not being a real Black but still living off our money. You're a thief and now I'll see to it that you get your ugly face blasted off our family tree." He waited for no responses, stepping back with a small chuckle to himself and slammed the door in their face.

Everyone was silent as they looked at Sirius, Remus not sure if he should put an arm around him or leave him be. He decided to put his arm around Sirius, but found it quickly shrugged off. He wasn't offended. Regulas was one of the few people Remus knew who could really get to Sirius.

"I… he's right… I wont be able to live off those people's money anymore even if I wanted to… I- I'm not an heir anymore. I'm gay. I can't continue the _noble line of the Black family_." Remus looked at him in surprise, not having been ready for Sirius' bitterness. "I just don't know what I'm going to do. I'm not good for anything. I thought I had really separated myself from them- independent, ya know?- but… I've been depending on them for so long. I know they didn't do it out of kindness… but I really don't know how I'll get money… It's never been a problem before."

"I could-" started James, who came from a relatively well-off family, but he then found himself interrupted by Sirius.

"No."

Remus sighed. He himself had known better than to offer Sirius help, knowing full well how he would take it.

"You gonna be okay, babe?" he asked, moving closer to his boyfriend, but not touching him.

"I- yeah. I'll be fine. Just gonna be a hard summer's all."

"I just," Remus started, still looking concerned. Remus was looking at his boyfriend and thinking about what to say. He himself felt a bit guilty. He had suggested in the spring that they come out. People had been wondering why Sirius hadn't dated anyone all year, and it'd be easier to help each other through the OWLs if they weren't constantly hiding their love. That, undoubtedly, was how the news had spread to Regulas. He was Sirius' boyfriend who was causing him to be disowned. There was nothing about that to make him not feel guilty. "I just feel responsible… I mean, I suggested we come out…" Peter and James' feelings of intruding were growing, and they were now putting as much effort into not seeming to be there as possible without disturbing the two by getting up and leaving.

"No!" protested Sirius. "I wanted people to know. It's not your fault at all. I'm okay, Love, I promise. Remus nodded, knowing that Sirius would not lie to him about this. But even though he was not blamed by others, he still blamed himself. "Hey," said Sirius, putting his hand in Remus' and looking serious (NO PUN INTENDED). "You forgave me when I tried to use you to attack Snape. If you can forgive a prat like me for something like that, I know you can forgive yourself. Remus, this isn't your fault."

"Thanks," said Remus, looking down sadly. Sirius placed a small peck on his lips and then leant back in his seat.

"I'm okay," he said, smiling at the two other boys who were also looking concerned. "Come on, we've been working so hard all spring! We need a break! The candy should be coming soon, we'll get tons of chocolate for my little Moonshine, here! Chess tournament anyone?"

"I'm in!" shouted Peter, and James nodded.

He felt a wand poke him in the ribs, and saw that it was Remus' when he looked. "I'm only not killing you for the nickname because you're getting disowned. One more time-" he jabbed his wand further into Sirius' ribs to finish the sentence, but not hard enough that it hurt. Sirius still faked some tears.

"Jamiieee! Moonshine is huuuurting meeeeee!!!!!"

"And I will too if you don't STOP CALLING ME _JAMIE!_"

Peter smiled, watching Sirius singlehandedly fight off his best friend and boyfriend, merely thankful that he hadn't been branded with such a nickname.

They enjoyed their frivolity while it lasted on the train, but there was always something hanging over them all. They knew, no matter how far into the backs of their minds they pushed it, they were in for a difficult Summer.

**A/N 10 down, 5 to go! I actually have some, dare I say it, IDEAS about what Im gonna do before the last chapter. Yay! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASE REVIEEEEEEW!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxoxooxoxoxoxooxoxoox**


	11. To sixth year

**A/N I FINISHED A QUIZ WITH FORTY MINUTES TIL MY NEXT CLASS! EPIC WIN! So yeah. Now I'm just using that time wisely: FAAANFIC TIIIIME! Also, listening to my sad playlist… and as soon as I typed that I switched it to my happy playlist. Ok, well on with the fic! Enjoy!**

**Train Rides**

It was, indeed, a difficult summer. Sirius was working fulltime in Flourish and Blotts. Remus eventually decided to get a part-time job there as well, it seeming perfect since he loved books, but soon found that working with Sirius was not easy.

The first reason for this was that Sirius was prone to being very distracting, either on purpose, needing constant attention, or accidentally, merely being too beautiful for his own good. They seemed to find themselves making out constantly when their boss wasn't around. This was not the best way to get a promotion, but they mostly made up for it by staying a bit late and cramming in a bit of extra work when the other wasn't around.

The other reason was that, once the excitement of working together wore off, things became, essentially, like a normal job. Without the distraction of each other being exciting, Sirius started to reveal his moodiness. At first, Remus was okay with this. The man was just disowned from his family. He's aloud to be a bit unhappy, even if said family was a group of rich, proud, homophobic criminals.

As a group, the marauders had always had their individual issues, but none of them had ever had financial trouble that was really bad enough to worry them. Sirius, in this category, had, in fact, always been the privileged one. He had never rubbed it in their faces, though. That was an unspoken agreement. James, for instance, never rubbed it in Sirius' face that his family was pretty much perfect. Peter didn't really have anything to gloat about except chess skills, so they let him do that out of kindness. That was their way of not gloating about having things to gloat about. Point is, the marauders were all very accepting about what troubles their friends had, and always tried to help.

Sirius didn't want their help. Pride was one of the few traits he had inherited from his family.

Towards the end of the summer, Remus had become less tolerant of Sirius' moodiness. It was going too far. They started to fight. They weren't bad fights, it was just that they were happening at all that bothered the couple. They had bickered before, but were never really mad. It had always been about distractions when Remus was studying or something or another like that.

"Hey, Moony, open the window, would you?" asked Sirius as the train started to move.

"It's warm in here."

"It's freezing!"

"If you're so cold, open it yourself," muttered Remus, his face buried in a book. Peter and James exchanged glances. The last time they had seen the two, they had been buying their books, and, in comparison to the visits earlier in the summer, they had sensed a lot of tension. Now they were sure it was there. Usually one of them would have just agreed with the other. The conversation _should _have gone as follows:

"Hey, Moony, would you please open the window?"

"Oh, of coarse!" and Remus would open the window.

Or:

"Hey, can you open the window, love?"

"I'm actually a bit chilly, if you don't mind us keeping it closed."

"Okay, I'll just roll up my sleves." And then Remus would admire the quidditch muscles on Sirius' arms, and Peter or James would poke fun at him.

Either scenario would have been preferable.

"Hey, Pete," said Sirius, grinning. Peter looked up. "What say you we go find Snivellus?" Peter mimicked his grin and stood.

"We'll be back soon," he said, and the two exited.

James looked out the window, into the hall, watching his friend leave, and then turned back to Remus. Remus was still immersed in his book.

"What's up?"

"Reading…"

"Again, what's up?"

. . .

"Sirius and you have been fighting?"

"when did you become insightful?" muttered Remus grumpily, shutting the book and looking at James.

"Well, you really should give me more credit. I noticed you and Sirius liked each other before you two even told each other."

"Oh yeah," said Remus, seemingly uninterested.

"Come on. I'm a marauder. I can read your mind," said James, moving over to Remus' side of the compartment.

"It was just… a tough summer…"

"Summer. Ah," said James skeptically.

"what?"

"People have been talking about how hard the summer was or would be lately. Is it really gonna change in the year? Sirius has some issues right now, and, I know, I'm pointing out the obvious there, but really I don't want to see things end badly between you two, not just because you're both my friends, but because Sirius really needs you right now. If you two are having trouble, I think you should address that now, before it's too late."

"James, thanks, but we're not in trouble. We've been fighting a bit, but who hasn't? It'll go away," Remus said, rejecting the topic completely, hinting that a change might be nice.

"Okay, whatever you say. But Moony, if you need to talk to me, you can. But I really suggest you talk to Sirius, first." Remus nodded.

"Thanks."

"No prob! That's what friends are for, and all that."

"HAHAHAHAHAH!" came the sound of Sirius and Peter's laughter as they threw open the door. Sirius and Peter collapsed on the opposite side of the compartment. James noticed that Sirius didn't even seem to register the fact that James had stolen his place beside his boyfriend, something he usually wouldn't stand for. Remus noticed too.

"That was great!"

"Brilliant!"

"What?"

"We charmed his underwear to the outside of his pants as he was walking back from the bathroom! He didn't even notice till he was back and sitting with all his friends and they were laughing at him!"

"Brilliant!"

"Nice."

"Immature…" (**A/N ALARM CLOCKS KILL DREAMS!)**

"You're no fun," said Peter, glaring at Remus.

"it's not that. I just could've thought of something better," said Remus nonchalantly, looking at his book as if considering weather or not to keep reading it.

"Oh really?" asked Sirius, skeptically.

"Sirius," said James warningly. "Do NOT take this challenge. It WILL be the end of you!"

"You're on," said Sirius, ignoring James. "Jamie's on my team!"

"There are teams?" asked James, right as Peter spoke up as well.

"What!? We were in this together!"

"Come on, Pete, I thought you liked to be on the winning team," said Remus, smirking.

Peter shrugged. This was true and he couldn't argue with it.

"Alright, Remus and me versus you and Jamie," he said to Sirius.

"If people are gonna keep throwing around that name like they don't know I hate it, I don't know if I want to be on _anyone's _team!" said James in a whiny voice.

"Truce!" announced Sirius. "You join my team and I _won't_ call you J-A-M-I-E for. . . a week." … "A month."

"Let's get started!"

The four started planning this game. Remus, people were often surprised to hear, was just as mischievous as his friends, just far more discrete, preferring to be the mastermind behind a plot rather than the one actually pulling the prank. Less trouble.

In the end they decided that it would be the "Snivellus-tormenting tournament." The had from today, until the end of the first week, to pull brilliant pranks on Severus Snape. These were just the sort of game Marauders played. It was a little absurd.

"Ok," said James, looking at his watch. They liked to use as much time as possible to prank, so they would start at exactly 6 'o clock. They would end in exactly 168 hours. "go!"

The four of them ran in different directions with their team mate, and Severus Snape would remember this as the worst week of his school career.

Remus Lupin would remember it as the week leading up to the dumbest fight in history. The week leading up his first break-up.

**A/N ok… these last two have been short. I added the whole snape thing to the end because I realized how short it was and it's STILL short! :'( Yeah. Also, Sirius and Remus were going to break up in the next chapter, but this is just how things turn out. Yeah. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE REVIEEEEEEW!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


	12. Back from sixth year

**A/N DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMND AMN DAM DNSM! Ok. I got that out of my system. I just realized that I messed up. I said that none of them were prefects… and Remus was… oh well. It would've ruined the story after a while. Whatevs. **

**Train Rides**

"So," began Sirius awkwardly. James was stalking Lily. Peter was stalking James. He and Remus were sitting across from each other in a very quiet, very small compartment that seemed to be built for the sole purpose of inducing claustrophobia. "How's Jonathon?" he asked.

"He's good. He's sitting with his sister." Remus was reading, as usual, and his voice suggested annoyance at the interruption, but he didn't want to be blatantly rude. He and Sirius still got along very well and had remained good friends, but the subject of anything involving their love lives was awkward and uncomfortable for both of them.

"Ah. You two gonna see each other over the summer?" Remus glared. "Just wondering…"

Well… this was awkward…

"DRINKS ALL AROUND!" said a sudden, excited voice loudly as James and Peter burst into the room and it was suddenly filled with the telltale intoxicating smell and smoke of firewhiskey.

"Where'd you even get that?" asked Remus laughing slightly as he accepted a glass that, contrary to the drink itself, _did_ appear out of nowhere.

"I honestly don't know!" shouted James, passing glasses to his other two friends as well, instantly chugging his own. Remus looked unsure about his drink upon hearing this, but decided that James didn't seem dead, just a bit smoky, so he took a sip.

"Occasion?" asked Sirius.

"LILY SAID YES!"

Remus and Sirius simultaneously coughed up a large quantity of their respective drinks. They looked to Peter for confirmation and, the poor boy, he was chocking on his drink either because he had never had it before and was unprepared or because he was trying very hard not to laugh and die. He, therefore, just nodded. The other two joined in the cheers, laughing uncontrollably.

"Congratulations!" shouted Remus, clapping him on the back from where he sat across from him.

"'Bout time!" said Sirius, giving him a hug from the side and refilling both their glasses.

"When?" asked Remus, still grinning.

"First hogsmede weekend next year!" They all burst out laughing.

"You asked her _three months in advance?_" asked Sirius, crying with laughter. The still mostly underaged wizards were finding this funnier than they usually would due to the unreasonably strong liquor they were consuming quickly.

"Well, he actually asked her to stay with him during the summer..." sip "… which didn't go as badly as you might expect considering it somehow ended up with her agreeing to go out with him next year opposed to her usual jelly legs jinx.

The next hour was one of frivolity, drunkenness and lots of smoke that ended in yet another promise for the next year: a week's detention for all of them, including Sirius because, though he was of age, he was drinking with minors. Damn. Totally worth it, though.

Once the room had cooled down slightly and emptied itself of smoke through the cracked-open window, they just sat there talking about Lily. For the first time in years they actually cared, something that had stopped happening once they noticed the pattern to James' failures: ask her out, get rejected, be annoyingly persistent and get hexed.

"I think I'm going to marry her," muttered a slightly drunk and/or hung-over James dreamily.

"Hmmm… good for you, mate," said Sirius, grinning and ruffling his friends hair. There was no noticeable difference, seeing as his hair was already about as messy as possible.

Though Remus thought it was a strange thing to say, considering he had just convinced her to go out with him once after years of trying and failing, he still envied James a bit. Behind the thick skull of the moron Remus called his friend, he was a really good person, more loyal than the all the Huffelpuffs put together, and very friendly. If he was sure about anything to do with James, it was that he loved Lily Evans. James knew what he wanted and who he loved and that was something Remus could not say was true about himself.

He was dating a nice person. This nice person's name was Jonathon. He liked Jonathon quite a lot. He also knew that he liked Sirius quite a lot _more_ and could not, for the life of him, understand why, then, he was doing fine with his new relationship when the one with the person he really _loved _had fallen apart miserably. Did it mean that Sirius didn't love him back? Were they just not meant to be? (A/N AS I AM TYPING THIS, TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME CAME ON MY IPOD! I AM SO HAPPY! YEAH!) Remus mentally slapped himself. Firstly, he didn't believe in 'meant to be's and secondly, even _thinking _it made him sound like a girl. He was gay, but he was _not that girly_. (A/N I LOVE THIS! REMUS IS JOANNE AND SIRIUS IS MAUREEN! YAY! Ok. I'm done. I have recovered from the awesomeness) Truth be told, things were great with Jonathon and he was not willing to accept the fact that he was unhappy.

Sirius looked over and he knew Remus was sleeping. Remus looked peaceful and beautiful. Sirius smiled and took off his cloak, placing it gently over Remus.

"You okay?" asked Peter sympathetically.

"Hm?" said Sirius, looking surprised. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I'm happy for James."

"Not really what he meant," said James with a knowing look.

"I- he just looked cold!" said Sirius defensively. The fact that he was deliberately quiet so as not to disturb his friend's sleep was a give away.

"He's getting pretty serious with what's-his-name," said James, looking uninterestedly at his nails.

"Jonathon," mutterd Sirius, not making eye contact with anyone. James smirked.

"You can't honestly tell me that it doesn't piss you off a little bit."

"Why should it? I dated Hannah for a while!"

"No, you _used _Hannah to get back at Remus for dating Jonathon for a while."

"More like _one night."_

"Wasn't a strong moment for you, was it?"

"_And _Remus was okay with it!"

"How could he!?"

"Shut up!"

The other two quieted instantly and watched as their friend stormed angrily out of the compartment.

"Wha happened?" asked Remus sleepily, rubbing his eyes and pulling the warm cloak around him without realizing that it hadn't been there before. He sat up a bit and looked at his friends questioningly.

"Sirius is having his famous Black-family mood swings."

"Ah."

Sirius was very fond of the Hogwarts express. It was unnecessarily large and therefore always had a conveniently empty compartment in which he could sit and brood if he so wished. One of these times happened to be now. He was sitting in an empty compartment having a staring contest with a cloud. He was winning. The cloud slowly moved and seemed to vanish, but Sirius was not paying attention. He continued to stare into the blank space that had, moments before, hosted his puffy companion.

He wasn't jealous. He just didn't like Jonathon. He was a Slytherin. Slytherins, no matter how seemingly pleasant, were all evil deep, deep down. Pure. Unadulterated. Evil. It was what their sole was made of. If you were to crack them open to wherever the sole happened to live, you would see a swirling cloud of hatred and spitefulness and EVIL. Whereas if you looked within Sirius' sole, one _might_ find a little green swirl of jealousy and possibly a bit of paranoia as well, but he was _not _the focus of this inward mental angry rant. Jonathon was bad news.

Suddenly it hit Sirius. The reason Remus was dating a Slytherin was to make him angry! He had to be doing it on purpose! Remus was _not_ an idiot and he _knew _slytherins were not to be trusted. Sirius stood up angrily and stormed out into the hall.

What could he be doing? He couldn't confront Remus! No! He would! He had to! This idiocy could not continue!

He threw open the door to the compartment occupied by his closest friends. His face was fixed in an expression of anger and determination as he looked down at them. Peter and James looked up at him innocently from their game of exploding snap. Remus was curled up on the other side of the room than where he had been earlier. He was still rapped up in the cloak and his face had a small smile playing at the corners of his perfect mouth. Sirius' heart melted. He collapsed, defeated, in the seat beside Peter.

"I call playing winner."

**A/N chapter 12! It is done! I have way too much free time in Spanish classes! Why am I always early? HOW am I always early? Oh well. Not complaining. PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASE REVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxo**


	13. To seventh year

**A/N Oh my GOD! It has been SOOOO long since I've updated! This chapter was annoying because something big does happen, but I couldn't get it to fill a lot of space, to it took me a lot of energy to write. Argh! Damn fillers!**

had only exchanged a few owls, and these had been brief. The two had told each other a bit about how their summers were going and that was about it. The letters were vague and infrequent. That was why Sirius was caught completely off-guard when he stepped onto the train to find James and Remus already in the compartment, the later of the pair looking like he had just scene a ghost. Remus' eyes were brimming with unshed tears and he was pale against the dark color of James' robe-clad arms that were wrapped around him.

"What- ?" asked Sirius, not finishing the question because James nodded his head at a letter in Remus' hands. Sirius looked into Remus' eyes briefly and received a nod, telling him it was okay. He reached for the letter and read it to himself:

_Remus,_

_ I regret to tell you that I will not be returning to Hogwarts this year due to some family issues. I am betrothed to a pureblood woman who is a close friend to my family. I am leaving school permanently to fight in the war and therefore find it unlikely that we will ever meet again. I sincerely enjoyed the time we spent together and would like to thank you for keeping your friends away from mine for the past year._

_- J. Wilkes _

Sirius looked at Remus. He had a hundred insensitive questions, but the one that he had to know before comforting his friend was this: "Which side?"

There was tense silence before Remus spoke up in a voice so small it was barely audible.

"The… the death eaters."

Nobody spoke. Remus sniffed once, breaking the intense silence that weighed down upon them. Nobody, including the man himself, was sure how Sirius would react. James was also not sure what to do. He hadn't even thought of asking the question, though, looking back on it, it was an obvious one considering how close Jonathon had been to the inner circle of death eater slytherins.

"I-" Sirius started, finally, still standing. His face was expressionless, but his voice sounded angry. "I- how are you holding up? When'd you get this thing?" he asked, shaking the letter before throwing it to the ground with a distasteful look on his face.

"His… sister. She gave it to me just a few minutes ago," said Remus in a shaky voice that was unmistakably one of someone fighting back tears.

Sirius looked at his shaken friend and sat down beside him. He put his arm around Remus and felt the lycanthrope shift uncomfortably, but then relax in his arms. He and James sat there with Remus between them for a few minutes, being a bit early, and then had to go through the entire painful process again when Peter arrived right at 11, jumping on to the train just before the doors were closed.

The train ride was significantly more stressful than previous ones, and the only thing that could make the already existing situation more awkward was that Peter and James were treating Sirius like some kind of explosive that would go off at any moment, triggered by some strange mix of emotions. They weren't as worried about Remus as it seemed he had already gone off. Also, their obviousness about this was making Remus and Sirius more uncomfortable. It was a train ride of sadness and awkwardness to some crazy epic level.

. . .

And the awkwardness continued.

For a long, long time.

The train continued on and, though the passengers eventually decided it would be best to change the subject to one of their favorite pastimes: exploding snap. One of the reasons it was such a good thing to go back to was that it exploded. It was unsafe, impractical and pretty; A good distraction.

Remus was losing: a rare occurrence. He was clearly distracted, and no matter how much Sirius was in love with him, he was a friend first. He was worried about Remus.

"Rem?"

"Mmhmm?" said Remus, looking cute as he went cross-eyed as he concentrated on his nose to get the singed chunks of paper off of it.

"Are you okay?" asked Sirius, a look of poorly hidden concern causing his brow to furrow. The other two, who had been busy setting up a new game, listening, but not showing it, stopped, and turned their heads, no longer attempting to hide their interest in this interaction.

"I- I'm fine. Really," replied Remus, sounding very unconvincing. "It's all good." Sirius looked at him, still with a worried look on his face. "Well… not _all_ good," continued Remus defensively, sounding hopeless. "I can get through it. I'd really just rather not deal with it today."

Sirius looked at him, his eyes examining his friend's face. After a moment his gaze softened.

"Alright, Mate. But you can talk to me anytime."

Remus didn't respond vocally, but he nodded slightly. "New game?"

"I'm in!" said Peter, too quickly.

While Sirius watched his distracted ex-boyfriend lose yet another game of exploding snap—to _Peter,_ no less—he magiced the note into his hand. Remus smiled slightly as he both began to do better and he saw Sirius start to fold it skillfully into a small airplane. It broadened as he saw the beffudled look on Peter's face at the shift, and as Sirius started to levitate the plane, making it swerve suddenly all over the small compartment.

"Mind if I shoot it down?" asked James, to Remus and Sirius both. Both shook their heads, smiling. As James took aim and fired, the cards exploded, perfectly in sync with the miniature war-scene playing out in the vast sky above their heads. They all cheered as the plane curled up and landed on the pile of burnt card, except for Peter, who was busy putting out his hair and eyebrows which had been caught by the sparks from both explosions. This caused his friends too laugh still more, and Sirius shot a little jet of water that splashed his short friend in the face, effectively putting out the flame, but continuing after that and getting him completely soaked. They laughed still harder.

"Hey!" said Peter indignantly, but his tone was betrayed by the smile he was just barely suppressing. He shot a jet back at Sirius, accidentally getting Remus as well. This efficiently started the quickest, spontaneous, four person water-fight in their time in Hogwarts—unsurprisingly, however, not the first _or _last one.

A truce was called about half an hour of waited time later, when all of them were covered, head to toe, with water and very cold. This brought them back to fire yet again. After drying off quickly, James conjured a ball of fire into the middle of the compartment, hovering between them all to keep them warm.

"That was fun," he said, smiling. "And, Moony, mate, you scream like a _girl!_" Remus blushed, but laughed with the others. Sirius laughed and inwardly recalled that Remus _kissed_ like a girl, too, but decided it was better to keep this rather entertaining comment to himself, particularly at this time.

"So true," muttered Sirius, grinning. It _was_ true. The noise that had escaped his lips when a particularly cold jet of water shot him in the face had been more of a squeal than a scream.

"Oh yeah," said Remus sarcastically. "Oh no! My hair! You've gone and gotten my hair wet! And now it's ruined!" said Remus in a girly voice, grasping at imaginary hair. This was, of course, an exaggeration, but they all still cracked up, while Sirius just stroked his own hair defensively, a pout on his face.

"You're just jealous," he said, in an exaggerated moping voice. "Do you hear that, hair? They're just jealous of your gorgeous sheen." They all laughed histerycally at this. It was common knowledge that Sirius' most prized… possession was his long hair. His family hated it, and he had decided that it looked 'smexy,' a term that had not been invented yet, but it didn't matter, because Sirius is awesome.

Once the three had calmed down, Peter spoke up, breaking a comfortable silence.

"I," he started, pausing and glancing at Remus nervously. "I can't believe he's a death eater," he said. Remus stiffened visibly, his gaze cold, but said nothing. "It's just… he seemed like a good guy for a Slytherin. It just seems so real. This war—it's really happening. I guess it just hadn't sunk in."

"Yeah, I know what you mean," said James.

Remus looked heart-broken all over again. Not only was his boyfriend a death eater, but also this war would make his life even harder than it already was. He was a werewolf, and the army, lead by the very wolf that had bitten him, was common knowledge.

James' family had been Gryffindors, and his parents were both in The Ministry. His father was a good Auror, and would be in constant danger. His mother dealt with muggles, something that no respectable pure-blood woman should, in the eyes of the Death Eaters. James lived in constant fear of being orphaned.

Sirius hated the death eaters with a passion born of the hatred of all things related to his past. His parents were known supporters of Voldemort and his brother… Regulas was not shy about hinting about his loyalties in school. He even talked of dropping out to join the Death Eaters. Sirius hated them all.

Peter was a true Gryffindor. He was not, in anyone's particular opinion, someone who could be that valuable in a war, but he was a follower, and he would follow his friends to the end of the earth.

Seeing the look on his friend's face, Sirius reached an arm around Remus, pulling him in slightly and squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. After doing this, he wished he hadn't. He and Remus hadn't touched much since the break-up, and never as intimate as this embrace. He did not, however, pull away. He leant on Sirius' shoulder, and a warmth spread through their bodies.

They were all scared for the years ahead, but, right then, it seemed far away. They had almost childish ideas of it all being okay if they were together through it all. Right then, all they needed was the comfort of their friends and loved ones.

**A/N okay! So the war is coming into play! Yay! Well… not 'yay' obviously, but still… funzies? Sorry for how boringly **_**filler**_** the middle of that was. Its actually okay if you just skimmed that part. You know, just hints at Remus and Sirius LOVING each other and all that. PLEEEEEAAAAAAAASE REVIEW! LOVE YOU ALL! XOXOXOXO!**


	14. Back from seventh year

**A/N A new chapter! And they're all GRADUATED! Which means my story is coming to an END. This is the second to last chapter. Enjoy! Xoxo**

The four of them sat in the in silence. Things had been quiet for days now. Their graduation had seemed insignificant, when compared to the assassination and massacring of wizards and muggles alike, happening almost weekly. all that waited for them at Kings Cross was a car to the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. All four of them had gone to Professor Dumbledore, requesting that he let them into the Order. All four received good grades in DADA, so they were admitted. They all looked out the window, gazing at grey skies, filled with dementors and other dark creatures.

"On the bright side," muttered Peter, who was never a fan of silence, "I don't think any of our fears of losing touch with each other could possibly come true seeing as we'll be living in the same house."

This was true. The four of them were, at least temporarily, staying at the order's head quarters. It was safer, especially considering, though none of them would say it to Sirius, Regulas knew where all of them lived. So did Jonathan, for that matter.

They had all had plans for the future, that seemed achievable. But nearing the end of their seventh year, they received yet another wake up call, similar to that of Jonathan's departure. Regulas left one day. There were no witnesses as to where he had gone, since he had brought along his two, Slytherin roommates, who were dumb enough to join any army if someone told them to. It was April when it happened. The four roommates didn't come down for breakfast, and when someone went up to see where they were, they found a room, completely stripped of any personal items that they had placed there over the year. The news was spread by lunchtime that Hogwarts students (_"that Sirius bloke's brother"_) had joined _Him_.

"I still don't think it's a good idea. Greyback is recruiting all werewolves. I'm endangering you. He can _sense_ other werewolves. Especially me! He bit me! It's not safe," said Remus, sounding a bit like a broken record at this point.

"For the last, bloody time, Moonshine, we aren't giving you a choice!" said Sirius, using the nickname Remus hated to emphasize his point. He was leaning against Remus, enjoying his hair being twirled between Remus' fingers, and looking a little like a puppy, however, so it kind of ruined the effect of any forcefulness he had been aiming for.

That was another thing. Remus and Sirius were together again. It hadn't happened all of a sudden either. In fact, there was no visible line between the time they were friends and the time where they found themselves going on cheesy, romantic dates in Madam Puddyfoot's. It just sort of happened gradually. The strange thing was how naturally it came to them. They had never really stopped loving each other.

"I think what your little lapdog is trying to say is that if you attempt to ditch us, ol' Greyback will be the least of your worries because the four of us would kill you!" said James.

"Three, Jamie. Four marauders minus one moonshine equals three murderous friends. Three," corrected Sirius, smiling at how angry James looked.

These moments were nice. They still felt like they had little shreds of innocence and childhood left when they were around each other. Not that any of them were, by any means, innocent or children, but they could be the ridiculous Marauders they were at heart around each other; a luxury the war would rarely grant them.

After a moment, they all calmed down, and they were adults again. They had responsibilities.

"It feels weird, doesn't it?" asked Peter. "Not going back to school. We might _never_ go back. Well, except Moons, who'll teach there once the war's done."

"And me!" piped up Sirius. "I'll be smuggling myself in via my darling moonshines luggage!"

"James will visit, of course," added Remus.

"And Petey can follow me!" said James, happily.

None of them corrected Peter when he said 'when' the war is done. It was wishful thinking, all of them knew, to expect each of them to pull through. That was part of the agreement when they had joined the Order.

"We'll be back. I know it," said James.

Peter was right. Leaving Hogwarts felt strange this time. You never really believe people on those days when they ask if you feel different, like on a big birthday or something, and you say yes, but the answer is no. Today they felt different. Today was a turning point in their lives. They were leaving the safety of their homes, Hogwarts and their houses alike. The uncertainty of what this meant was scaring all of them, though they wouldn't say it out loud.

Lily knocked on the door. She had probably been sitting in the usual compartment she would sit in, but it must've been lonely. She usually reserved a seat for Severus. No matter how much they fight, they are always okay by the end of the year. This year, he didn't come. People who were aware of this arrangement had attempted to sit with her, but had all been rejected, saying she was waiting for someone. Once she decided that she wouldn't be sitting with her friend, she made her way to her boyfriend's compartment. She was painfully aware that last week when they had fought was probably the last time she would see her friend without having to fight him.

"Hey Lils," said James, sympathetically. He hated Snivelous, but he wasn't as big an insensitive prat as Lily had previously made him out to be. She sat down beside him, his arm wrapped around her, and she looked close to tears. She wouldn't cry, of course. That would just not be a Lily thing to do.

Remus untangled himself from his boyfriend and reached out to put his hand on Lily's. He had always been the closest to her out of the Marauders, even before James. They bonded over being smart and less ridiculous than their peers. "Are you okay, Lily?" he asked softly.

"I'm alright," she said, her expression strong, but her voice shaky.

"We were just saying that… when they war is over, I'll be a professor here, and Sirius can live with me, and Peter and James will come visit. You and Severus could be Potions masters together. That way James could live here too. And I'm sure we could work out some arrangement for Pete. Pet rat, for example."

Lily smiled. "Sir could even get away with pet dog, though I'm not sure if I could pull of 'Hello, Professor Dumbledore, did I forget to tell you about Fluffy, my pet _stag_?'" they laughed. "Not sure how happy Sev would be about that arrangement anyway."

"Or James, for that matter," added Peter.

"Knowing Professor Slughorn, there probably won't be an opening for quite some time. He looks like he's got another century of teaching in him at least!"

"Not sure he could handle the war, though. I bet he goes into hiding within the next year," put in Sirius.

"I think the one's that will last are going to be McGonagall and Dumbledore," said Peter.

"But they're so _old_!" said James, aghast.

"Yeah, but they could probably survive a zombie apocalypse."

"I think Dumbledore actually _did_ survive a zombie apocalypse once," said Lily, and the rest of them looked shocked.

"Oh, and _Binns_, of course."

They all groaned. I don't think there was any doubt in anyone's mind that Binns would be the history of magic teacher for a long, long, _long_ time. If her didn't let death stop him, they doubted that there was much more anyone could even try to do to get rid of him.

"Then again, maybe we shouldn't all live at Hogwarts forever. I don't fancy getting stuck sitting next to a ghost during my every meal. Always moping about how he can't quite taste it," said Remus, pulling a bar of chocolate out of his pocket. Sirius had gotten him a huge basket of every sort of chocolate treat imaginable for their graduation. This was pretty much the last of it.

"I think he's stopped attending meals, actually," said Lily, thoughtfully.

"Excellent!" said Sirius. "I can have his seat and sit next to my moonshine all the time!"

They calmed down.

None of them spoke for a while, but as they watched, tears formed silently in Lily's eyes. She moved her head, subtly so that no one could see as a tear trickled down her cheek.

"We're gonna survive," said James quietly into her ear. "We're going to make it through this. I promise."

"That's a dumb thing to promise," muttered Lily into his arm.

"I don't think so," said Remus, his expression one of deep depression. He was deeply disturbed by his friend's tears, and felt some welling up in his own eyes. "It's optimistic. I don't know if we'll all… make it through, but we can't give up. We need to have the will to survive."

When they arrived at Kings Cross Station later that day, only to find it under attack, their will to survive helped them save many of the muggles and underclassmen there before all four of them made it safely to the car, very much alive. Over the next few years, their will to live would need to be strong to get them through what lay ahead.

**A/N and it's off to war they go. But wait! The story isn't over! What could she possibly have left? One might ask! Well… I WON'T TELL YOU! MWAHAHAHA! Pleeeaaaaaaaase review. Epilogue will come soon. And just so you know, to some people, it'll be mad depressing. Okay! Review! XOXOXO!**


	15. Epilogue

**A/N last chapter. I got this idea from the "Kings Cross" chapter from tDH. I know that that's just . . . well, this chapter is filled with inaccuracy but for the sake of spoilers, I will beg for forgiveness at the END**

**Train Rides**

Remus John Lupin looked around. It was very bright, and it was very strange and it looked like Kings Cross, a place where he hadn't been since teaching at Hogwarts, finding it more convenient to floo or aperate to Hogsmede when needed. The last thing he recalled was the murderous face of Antonin Dolohov, bloodstained and evil, rushing toward him, screaming an incantation that could only have been 'Avada Kedavra.'

What was around him looked like the old station, and as he looked, a train, not unlike the Hogwarts Express came up to him. He stepped onto the train as the doors opened for themselves. Looking into the compartment, he saw himself. As he walked by each door, he was seeing images of his past. In the first one, he saw himself, a shy boy, opening up to three total strangers. In the next compartment he saw his friends looking out the window, worried expressions on their faces. They continued. He saw his first kiss with Sirius black. He saw their first fight. He saw his friends comfort him after a break up. He saw him and his four favorite people all sitting together on their way to the most messed up years of their lives. He saw himself as a young man, on a train to see Sirius one last time before Azkaban, and knew that he would ride the train back as well, unable to see the man he had thought he loved, behind bars for the murder of his best friends.

The train started to move as he sat down in the compartment following the last time he had been on a train, sleeping while Harry, Hermione, and Ron talked around him. He sat, looking outside, seeing the same, bright, dream-like version of the train station. When he looked back, he wasn't, altogether, surprised to see James, Lily and Sirius sitting there.

"Hello," said James.

Remus grinned. "Hey, Jamie, Lils… Padfoot."

"You did well, Remus," said Lily, her hand resting on his shoulder. "Thank you for protecting out son."

Remus stood up and was embraced by his friends. He closed his eyes as a tear trickled out, and when he opened them, found himself in the arms of his wife.

"Remus," she said. "I'm sorry. I should've listened to you." Now Remus was crying completely. "I left Teddy with Mom."

"Good. She'll take care of him," he said. He put his arm around her again as they sat down.

"I'll go," she said. Before Remus could say anything, she was gone.

Remus did love Nymphadora. She was his wife and he would not have married her if he didn't. He had a fondness for him that was good. It was good to love someone after Sirius. But then, with Sirius, the man who he had just seen breifly, that love was different. Sirius and himself had been lucky enough to find each other. It was like they were made for each other.

"Sir," he said, as Albus Dumbledore Stepped through the door. Albus had a twinkle in his eye.

"Remus," he said, opening his arms to the younger man. Remus looked in amazement to see both hands on the elderly wizard intact. He gave his old employer, teacher and friend a hug.

"I've died, haven't I, sir?" he asked, not caring that the question sounded foolish. Dumbledore had always treated him as an equal, and would never judge him.

"Yes, Remus. You have. You were amazing, back there. You fought bravely and were a good mentor to Harry." The smile never left his face, but it looked more sympathetic now. "I'm sorry, my friend, but I need to go, and I think someone else wants to see you," he said knowingly, his eyes looking behind Remus. "But remember, to the well organized mind, death is just the next great adventure. I know you have a well-organized mind, Remus," he said, before turning to leave.

"Yes, sir," replied Remus, smiling at the air that was, a moment before, his role modle.

"Sirius," he said, turning around, knowing he would be there. He looked younger than he had the day he had died, his face filled with the youth it had once had before years of imprisonment. "I love you," he said, giving the man a hug and burying his face in his shoulder, still crying.

Sirius reached out as he pulled away slightly, tilting the smaller man's head toward his own, and kissed him. And as the train came to a halt, a bright light shining in through the window, making their faces look angelic, Sirius stood, taking Remus' hand in his own, saying "I love you too."

**A/N and we are DONE! Okay, so I know that that was a short, lame epilogue, but whatevs. Also I know that the kings cross thing was supposedly Harry-specific, but we'll go ahead and ignore that little detail… yeah. We can assume that Remus ALSO feels at home at kings cross, which we can say was led up to by, I dunno, the WHOLE REST OF THE STORY! That's all. This is the last chance to review so PLEAAAAAAASE DO! I'm serious. No matter how long the story has been published, when I am thirty it will still bring me joy to hear your opinion. I value constructive critasizm the most, but even if you made it this far in the story and you want to flame it, that's okay, because I love reviews! Please and thank you! Xoxoxoxoxxoooxoxoxoxoxo! You've been awesome! Love ya!**


	16. advertising

_**PLEASE READ:**_** I know some people might not consider this chapter to be **_**strictly **_**within the rules of this site, but, believe me, I am just putting it up to hopefully help people find stories they will like and save them the trouble of searching my profile to find them. If you, personally, are bothered by my self-advertising, then please review or PM to tell me so, and I will be more than happy to remove this chapter. **

**Now on to the shameless self-advertising:**

**HULLO THERE! HERE! HAVE SOME SHAMELESS SELF-ADVERTISING!**

**If you liked THIS, which I certainly hope you did if you made it this far, ie the end, then you are SURE, or HOPEFULLY will like at least one of these!**

El Castillo del Merodeador

Summary: in 2014, the Weasley-Potter clan made themselves a club house: El Castillo del Merodeador, or simply the Castle. Over the years some interesting things happened there. second gen. series of one-shots. sorry for the bad summary. better than it sounds.

Story: "James then walked around the trunk several times, examining it carefully, perhaps more than was strictly necessary, and continued in through the passageway that had become obvious at this proximity, which he assumed people weren't supposed to reach. It took a few minutes, but at the end of the tunnel, he found himself in a dark, dank house of some sort, that had been ripped to shreds from the inside. He had absolutely no clue as to where he was, but he didn't really care. There were some signs to hint at this house not being in use. For instance the lack of inhabitants, and, upon further inspection, anything that could lead one to believe there had been inhabitants or guests for twenty-some years. It quickly became his favorite discovery…"

Link: .net/s/5882910/1/El_Castillo_del_Merodeador

A Grave with no Body

Summary: sirius. death. sad. its about the mourning of sirius. Please read and review. i dont own.

Story: "How do you pay respects for a man who vanished into thin air? He was there one moment, and then, after the longest moment of eternity, he was just not. He, of course, being the falsely accused and convicted murderer, Sirius Black. He had died suddenly, leaving those who had cared for him in life, utterly, and horribly alone…"

Link: .net/s/5694052/1/A_Grave_with_no_Body

Evil Within

Summary: If things had gone differently at the Battle Of Hogwarts. It'll get better past the prologue, I PROMISE! PLEASE REVIEW! :D

Story: ""-now you all see what become's of your great _hero!_? He was weak! And now, though my own body is destroyed, I shall reign over all of you through him!" He could feel Voldemort inside of him, quickly pushing him out of his own body and into a corner of his mind. The new occupant was jubilant. Things couldn't have turned out any better for him. And it was all his fault…"

Link: .net/s/5375491/1/Evil_Within

If You Were Gay

Summary: yeah... as in the avenue q song. dont own the song, barely own the plot and dont own the characters. remus/sirius. james/remus friendship. silliness.

Story: ""You know that guy?"

"Yes," he muttered. This meant he was either psychic or not really listening. I was okay with both.

"Well he sat with me at lunch."

"Fascinating," said Remus, in a voice that sounded just not sarcastic enough that I deducted that he was referring to his book. How he could still find it fascinating on the eight time around, I would never know.

"And he was smiling at me." Remus made a note in his book, which no normal person should do if they aren't reading a book for a class. "And talkin' to me." Remus turned the page. "And I think he was kind of coming on to me! I think he might have thought I was gay!" Remus looked up showing looking aggravated. "Though if I were gay, he would totally be my type…""

Link: .net/s/5694046/1/If_You_were_gay

In Your Shadow

Summary: Its just sorta three, short, individual things written from the perspectives of Rose Weasley, Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy and Albus Severus Potter on the topics of their first year at hogwarts. Hints of Rose/Scorpius. Sort of overlaps with Rosius Randomness

Story: "Weasley? Yes, when I say that I _do_ mean _The_ Weasley. As in 'yes, my dad was Uncle Harry's side kick.' I get asked that question _so_ much. You'd think kids this age could find better celebrities to obsess over. Like singers. Or actors. Or _more impressive people than my parents_. And you'd think the novelty would've worn out by now. Since the war, this school has had _seven other Weasleys (how are we still a big deal!?)!_ And when I sat on the stool, waiting to be sorted, I could _see_ the Gryffindor table waiting to applaud; waiting to welcome me into their family, not that I wasn't technically blood kin to about half of them anyway, but it wasn't just my family. It was _everyone! _It took most people a few seconds to realize what had happened because most of them hadn't been listening anyway, under the assumption that a Weasley at this school couldn't possibly be anything but a brave and true Gryffindor. But, sure enough, that moldly old hat surprised them all, for a third time that night, and shouted 'Ravenclaw…'"

Link: .net/s/5838674/1/In_your_shadow

Love

Summary: just a short story that talks about the close relationships in Remus Lupin's life. a bit of remus/sirius. just for funzies! pleeeaaase review!

Story: "When Remus came to school, he had been surprised by the ease with which people accepted him. Well, not _all_ people, but the only ones that mattered. James Potter was among them. He was, without fail, a loyal an kind friend, even though he was a bit of a prat. He along with the other Marauders made sure Remus never worked himself to death. There was even a memorable moment where someone mocked Remus and ended up in the hospital wing for a month from James' skillful dueling technique. James had been the first to discover his 'furry little problem,' as well as the first to give it an annoying nick name. When he had realized what was going on, he, in a display of uncharacteristic maturity, approached Remus in private and told him that he knew, and that he was okay with it..."

Link: .net/s/5501873/1/Love

Romance on Shuffle

Summary: Remus lupin and Sirius black. Drabbles writen for a challenge i saw on someone elses profile. all ten are inspired by songs i heard with my ipod on shuffel and writien during the song. it was not easy! but it was fun. if you like showtunes, you'll like it

Story: "Remus could hardly believe it. He walked into the great hall admiring the candles. On the train, he had been bored, and he was missing his parents, but all of that was insignificant. He was _HERE!_ A _WEREWOLF! AT HOGWARTS! _He had the sensation that he was dreaming, but everything was just so magical. Even the French fries he was eating at the feast! The skies he could see above him were shown magically through the ceiling! And the boy he was sitting with was magical as well. Remus had already developed a crush. It was love at first sight. He was really, the luckiest person in the world." (BTW, that one is for the song Here I Am from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels)

Link: .net/s/5366320/1/Romance_on_shuffle

With Me Or Against Me

Summary: just a quick oneshot about astoria and draco. It takes place during the battle at hogwarts. If you don't know who astoria is........ then you suck. Rated T for an itsy bit of swearing and violance, but that is all : enjoy!

Story: "As he started to wake up, Draco heard faint crashing noises, a scream somewhere in the distance, and the shouted incantation for a shield charm coming from very nearby. He opened his eyes and looked up, squinting. From his distinctly undignified place on the floor, he could see a cloak sweeping past his face, and the long black hair of its wearer. She looked back at him, hair whipping around her face, and green eyes made contact with his, briefly. She looked around and gave her attention to the attacking deatheater once more, putting him in a strong full-body bind."

Link: .net/s/4985682/1/With_Me_or_Against_Me

**Please note that**the stories advertised here are only the stories I have written for Harry Potter. To find stories for such fandoms as Bat Boy, Fruits Basket, Cardcaptor Sakura, Pokemon, The Odyssey and more, please do visit my other stories at this link: .net/u/1771431/ Thank you and please remember to **review :)**


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